


Worlds Beyond

by 88_MAGNETIC_DOG_88



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Original Character(s), Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff, Some Humor, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 29,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7504555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/88_MAGNETIC_DOG_88/pseuds/88_MAGNETIC_DOG_88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amethyst and Peridot fall in love, and end up fusing for the first time in their relationship</p><p>They decide to stay fused permanently.</p><p>However...this leads to some unfortunate events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Newfound Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot discovers that she has a crush on Amethyst.

Worlds beyond the Earth, there was a galaxy that most gems could call their own home. Even the gems that chose to rebel, and defy the Great Diamond Authority, they could call this galaxy their home, or at least a former home. This home, creatively named Homeworld, was home to millions, possibly billions, maybe even trillions of gems.

Some gems that rebelled, the Crystal Gems, didn’t appreciate the way that the Diamond Authority ran their home, so they defected, and fought against the Diamonds’ plans of destroying Earth. Rose Quartz, the leader of the Crystal Gems, had an army along her side, and united, they fought Homeworld, over 5000 years ago. Countless of gems had either been broken, damaged, imprisoned, or they just vanished, nowhere to be seen.

Those rebellious gems, the ones that chose to risk and then lose their lives in the world, a good number of them must’ve consider Homeworld their home, but not a good one. Some of them didn’t even have memories of their time on Homeworld, just feelings. Some of which were bad, some of which were good. To this day, some of those gems still exist, and fight for the Earth.

Peridot hadn’t gotten to fight in the war, but she wasn’t sure if she had wanted to. Judging by the reports she’d read of it, it sounded horrifying, and gruesome. She was glad she wasn’t made before the time. Otherwise, she wouldn’t exist. Instead, she would’ve been just a pile of shards that nobody would remember.

Peridot considered her time back on Homeworld. She was one of the millions upon millions of gems who considered Homeworld her home. She had no memories of it, but she had feelings. After all, it is hard not to have some feelings for where you came from. Peridot didn’t miss Homeworld, though. She had something better than it, and that something was the Crystal Gems. Steven, Garnet, Pearl…and Amethyst.

Peridot had only recently joined the Crystal Gems, but she felt as if they were her family, if gems could have a family. However, that feeling of family didn’t apply to Amethyst. With Amethyst, Peridot felt something different. Something new. She couldn’t exactly figure it out. She considered Amethyst a friend, but a very special friend. Whenever around Amethyst, Peridot felt something weird and different. She wanted to hold Amethyst’s hand, and hug her tightly. She wanted to feel that long, luxurious, lavender hair. She presumed it must be the softest thing in the world. Whenever Amethyst would look directly at her, Peridot would find herself just staring at Amethyst’s eyes, admiring how aesthetically pleasing they looked. She hadn’t felt this with any other gem before, so likely, she wanted answers. What better gem to talk to about your feelings than Steven?  
On a sunny day, the other gems were visiting Peridot and Lapis at the barn. While nobody else was looking, Peridot approached Steven and then tapped him on the shoulder. Steven turned his head towards Peridot, wanting to know what she wanted, but instead, he was pulled by the arm and out to the back of the barn by her. Peridot then looked around the corner and double-checked that she and Steven were completely alone. She then turned back to Steven, and cleared her throat.

“Now that the two of us are alone, I can ask you a question,” she flatly stated, looking him directly in the eye.

“Uh, sure. What is it, Peridot?” Steven asked.

“Listen, Steven, this might come as strange to you, but I have some odd…feelings…regarding Amethyst. You see, when she is around, I feel something, err, different. I feel something that I don’t normally feel if I’m around you, or Garnet, or Pearl. Whenever I see Amethyst, I want to hold her hand, and hug her. I often find myself staring at her eyes for some reason, maybe it’s because I think they look nice? I don’t know, but-“

Her words were cut off by the sound Steven gasping loudly. She looked at him. He had a huge, goofy grin on his face, as well as stars in his eyes. She was confused as to why he was looking at her in this way.

“Aww, Peridot!” He smiled, holding his hands together and resting his cheeks on them. “You have a crush on Amethyst!”

“Ah, a…crush?” Peridot inquired with a hint of worry in her voice. “But, why would I want to crush Amethyst?!”

“No, no, that’s not it all!” Steven responded, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Peridot, you’re in love with Amethyst!”

“I am?”

“Yeah, and it’s really cute!”

“Steven, for the last time, I am not cute.”

“He he, sorry, Peridot. I keep forgetting that you don’t like that word.”

Steven stopped talking but then he gasped again, but this time it was as if he’d thought of the greatest plan ever.

“Ooh, Peridot!” He yelled excitedly, grabbing her by both her shoulders. “You should ask Amethyst on a date! Who knows, maybe you’ll find out that she really likes you, too!”

“A date?” Peridot asked. “You mean, like a log date? How does that even work?”

“Ha ha, no that’s not what it’s about at all! A date is when two people that really like each other go out and have a great time, and there’s a lot of romantic stuff, and maybe they even kiss, or eventually get married in the future!”

Realizing what he’d said at the end, he looked back at her. “Um, you might wanna save getting married to Amethyst for waaay later, I’ve heard marriage is really complicated. But! You can still go on a date with Amethyst! I’ll get Garnet and Pearl to help set everything up!”

Steven ran away excitedly, passing the corner of the barn, before he took a few steps back and looked at Peridot only to ask, “Are you okay with me telling Garnet and Pearl that you have a crush on Amethyst? I just want to make sure I don’t accidentally hurt your feelings by telling them about it.”

Peridot nodded her head yes. Steven ran back across the side of the barn and up to everyone else.

Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst looked at him, and all of them smiled.

“Heyyy, dude!” Amethyst greeted him. “Where’d ya go? You just zipped off to nowhere.”

“Peridot wanted to talk about something,” Steven replied, smiling at her. He looked over at Garnet and Pearl. “Hey, Garnet, Pearl, can I talk to you guys inside the barn?”

Garnet and Pearl looked at each other for a moment, mildly confused.

“Err, sure, Steven,” Pearl said to him, walking with Garnet into the barn.

Steven followed them, only to be stopped by Amethyst talking.

“Hey Steven, what about me?” She asked, looking at him and waving her hand.  
Steven turned around to look at her, and said, “You stay out here, Amethyst. Maybe you can talk to Lapis!” He pointed at Lapis, who was sitting quietly on a rock.  
At the sound of her name being said by Steven, she sprang up and looked around, seeming really confused.

Amethyst stared at Lapis. “Uuh, okay, I guess,” She shrugged.

Steven ran back into the barn and Saw that Pearl and Garnet had been waiting for him, and they were both smiling at him.

“What is it, Steven?” Garnet asked.

“Hey guys, there’s a reason I didn’t call Amethyst in here, too. I gotta tell you a secret, come closer,” He said, gesturing towards himself.

Garnet and Pearl lowered themselves down to Steven’s level, and leaned in towards him, listening intently.

“Go on,” Garnet urged.

Steven leaned in closer to them and said quietly, “Peridot has a crush on Amethyst.”

Garnet and Pearl got up.

“Oh, she does? How adorable!” Pearl exclaimed, holding her hands together.

“That’s very sweet, Steven,” Garnet said, smiling. “Why did you tell us this?”

“Well, you see,” he started. “After Peridot told me, I thought it’d be a good idea for her to go on a date with Amethyst! And I’m gonna need the help of you guys to arrange it, but under one condition. Do NOT, under any circumstances, tell Amethyst about it.”

“Got it,” Garnet and Pearl agreed in unison.

“But wait,” Garnet interjected. “How will Amethyst know to come to the date?”

“I’ll tell her, but I won’t tell her it’s actually a date!” Steven replied, making finger guns.

“Oh, Steven,” Pearl sighed. “This is such a good idea. I can only imagine how cute it’ll be to see them together that night!”

“Me too,” Steven smiled.

The three of them walked out of the barn and were met with Peridot standing in front of them.

“So?” She asked him quietly. “Is this whole date thing happening, or not?”

“Yup!” Steven replied. “Meet us in front of this barn on Wednesday, at 7! We’ll make sure Amethyst comes along, too!”


	2. Get Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Peridot go on their first date.

Wednesday came sooner than Peridot had expected. By the time she had known it, Steven was in the barn at noon, asking her the question, “Are you excited for tonight?” She had really wanted to say yes, but as a matter of fact, she felt rather anxious about the upcoming night.

“What if Amethyst doesn’t actually like me? What if Amethyst gets bored during the date and just walks away? What if I somehow find a way to ruin everything?” She couldn’t stop asking herself these questions.

She also found herself envisioning the most ridiculous ways the date could go wrong. What if, the Cluster’s bubble popped, and it emerged right in the middle of the date? What if a meteor crashed down to Earth and shattered everyone? What it turned out that Amethyst actually has a secret romantic relationship with Pearl, and Peridot’s heart is broken? She knew half of the events she imagined were extremely unlikely, but they wouldn’t leave her head.

In the middle of the day, Peridot was sitting on a scratchy hay bale, arms crossed, listening intently to Steven and Garnet teaching what to do and what not to do on a date. She had noticed that Steven drew all the rules on the chalkboard. She also noticed that Steven’s artistic interpretation of her was a triangle with a smiley face and glasses, and Amethyst was just a pile of hair with short legs and dots for eyes. These crude doodles were rather inaccurate, but she chose to ignore them and instead listen to the words of Garnet and Steven.

“So, first of all,” Steven explained. “You gotta wear something nice! Y’know, to show the other person that you care. You already look good, but uh, here, put this on.”

Steven held out a dark green pre-tied bowtie by the straps and moved closer to Peridot. She stared at it in mild confusion for a few short seconds before grabbing it, and wrapping it around her neck, assuming that’s where she was supposed to put it.

“Perfect!” He exclaimed, throwing his arms up into the air. “Now, for step 2!”

“Try to make it romantic. You can’t have date with out romance,” Garnet explained, adjusting her shades.

“Hmm, and could you possibly explain to me what kind of things could be considered ‘romantic’?” Peridot inquired, making air quotes at the word ‘romantic.’

“First of all, color is an important thing. Red is the color of romance. It represents love and passion. I’d say, start off by giving her gifts, mostly things that are red or pink. Things that you think she’d like,” Garnet added. “But, we’ve already got you covered for that, since this is your first time. Before the date starts, we’ll give you things that you can give to Amethyst as gifts. But, if you two choose to go on your own dates afterwards, you’ll have to buy the gifts yourself, with money from Steven.”

“Is there anything else?” Peridot asked once again.

Peridot seemed to be taking notes in a small note pad. She wanted to make sure she had everything there was to know, after all, why would she risk ruining a date just because of a lack of information?

“Well,” Garnet continued. “Do you know what flirting is?”

“Flirting?” Peridot asked, squinting at Garnet.

“Yes, flirting. It’s one of the ways you can show someone you’re romantically interested in them. If you’re going to flirt with Amethyst, then make sure to compliment her, maybe say something nice about her hair or eyes. There’s also pick-up lines, which are basically romantic phrases that are meant to very silly and awkward.”

“Could you give me an example of these ‘pick-up lines’ you refer to?”

“I think it’d be better to just give you a list, Peridot.”

“Oh, very well then. Give me the list!”

Garnet took off a small list that was taped to the chalkboard, and walked over to hand it to Peridot. Peridot snatched away the list almost immediately and read through it in only a matter of seconds, and finally said, “Hmm, I see. Very interesting,” while folding the paper and tucking it under the cover of her note pad.

“Thank you, Garnet,” She said, standing up. “I’ll be sure to use these on my date with Amethyst.”

Peridot began to walk out of the barn only to be stopped by Steven.

“Where are you going, Peridot?” He asked. “The lesson isn’t over, yet!”

“I was about to ask that question, too,” Garnet agreed. “You were about to leave before giving us a chance to tell you about the most important part of dating.”

Steven pointed to the last picture on the board, which depicted Peridot yelling while Amethyst glared at her.

“Here it is, the most important rule of dating!” Steven declared. “What does it say, Garnet?”

“Don’t be a jerk,” Garnet replied, lowering her shades to look down at Peridot with all three eyes.

The sudden sight of Garnet looking down on her with all three of her eyes was probably the last thing Peridot had expected. She began to sweat profusely, and her posture stiffened.

“We cannot stress this enough, Peridot,” Garnet continued, putting her shades back in place. “We know you would never be rude to Amethyst, but you have your moments where you say whatever you want before you even think twice about it. You got to watch yourself. Think twice before you speak, Peridot. You’ll save yourself some embarrassment that way. Now, you can leave.

“Bye, Peridot! Meet us back here at 7!” Steven called, waving at her happily.

By 7, Peridot figured Steven must have meant 19 hours into a normal Earth day. So, she made it a point to be out in front of the barn the exact moment the clock struck 7.  
Steven, Garnet, and Pearl weren’t there. Not even Amethyst was there. So, Peridot decided to sit on a rock and wait for them.

10 minutes passed, and Peridot saw the warp pad activate, and the rest of the Crystal Gems appeared. Garnet, Pearl, and Steven ran up to Peridot.

“I was wondering if you gems would bother to show up,” She grumbled.

“We never said you had to show exactly at 7, Peridot,” Steven said, looking mildly confused.

“Whatever, how about we start the date already?”

“Sure, uh, let me get Amethyst! Uh, Garnet, Pearl, you guys go inside the barn.”  
Steven ran away from Garnet, Pearl, and Peridot and over to Amethyst.

Amethyst had been previously told to sit on the warp pad and wait. She seemed rather bored, her arms crossed, one leg over the other. Once she saw Steven approaching, though, her mood seemed to shift slightly.

“So, Ste-man, what’d you have me wait over here for?” She asked, standing up and stretching.

“I’ll get to that! Peridot wants to talk to you. She’s right over there in front of the barn. You should get over there pretty quickly, because she’s waiting for you.” He pointed over at the barn for emphasis on where she should go.

“Alright, alright,” Amethyst said, walking away from him.

Steven followed Amethyst up to the barn, running.

Once they had reached the front, Steven ran inside, where Garnet and Pearl were, and proceeded to watch the events with them.

By the time Amethyst had approached, Peridot had already been given the gifts that she should give to Amethyst by Garnet and Pearl. She was physically prepared, but she wasn’t sure if she was emotionally prepared.

“Hey, Peri!” Amethyst greeted Peridot with a smile on her face. “Whaddaya want?”  
The moment she saw Amethyst, she froze up, and her face went blue. She found it hard to find words for a second, but eventually she figured out what she could say.

“Err, hello, Amethyst! I, uh, wanted to, eh, speak with you!” She cleared her throat. Her voice had cracked mid-sentence, but at least she said something.

“Yeah? What is it?” Amethyst asked again, moving closer to Peridot.

Peridot began to sweat, and adjusted her bowtie.

“I have, um, a confession to make, but uh, before I do that, I have to give you this!”  
She held out a flat box wrapped in purple ribbon.

Amethyst took the box from Peridot’s hands and unwrapped it. It was a white rectangular box of chocolate bars.

“Aww, sweet, dude! I love chocolate!” Amethyst cheered.

She then proceeded to eat the entire box. Not individually unwrap each bar and eat them, but eat the box itself, with the chocolate inside it.

Peridot was slightly taken aback, but then again, it’s Amethyst. She’ll eat anything.  
“So, uh, now that you’ve finished your err, chocolate, I have some things to say to you!” Peridot declared nervously.

“Go on,” Amethyst replied, wiping chocolate and small pieces of cardboard off her face.

“Um, Amethyst, did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?”

“When you, uhh, fell from heaven, because you l-look like an angel.”

Amethyst tried to hold back her laughter, but it was really hard. All Peridot could hear from her for a few moments was stifled giggling, which was rather baffling to her.

“Peridot, are you hitting on me?” Amethyst snickered.

“What?! A-amethyst, I would never hit you!” She stuttered, throwing her arms into the air.

“No, dude, it’s an expression. Look, this is what I meant. Are you flirting with me?”  
“Um, yes, I believe I am.”

“Peridot,” Amethyst giggled, trying to hold back laughter as much as she could. “Do you have a crush on me?”

Peridot’s eyes widened. She was sweating even more now. Was she supposed to say yes or no? She couldn’t lie to Amethyst. But, what would happen if she said yes? After a few moments of looking around and making short, nervous noises, Peridot finally had the courage to speak, and cleared her throat.

“Yes, Amethyst. I do,” She stated flatly.

Amethyst couldn’t keep it in anymore. She burst out laughing, and she couldn’t stop.  
Peridot didn’t even have any kind of biological heart, but she could feel it sinking. She felt this horrible feeling in her chest. Was this some kind of joke to Amethyst? Why on Earth was she laughing like this? What was so funny? Peridot felt as if she were being mocked by Amethyst.

“Amethyst?” Peridot asked, her voice quivering a little. “Why are you laughing at me?”

Amethyst kept laughing, she was laughing so hard she starting snorting.

“P-please tell me why you’re laughing,” Peridot continued. “I don’t understand what’s so funny…”

 

Amethyst was still laughing, wiping a tear from her face. Peridot could only stare at her disbelief. What had she done wrong? She followed Garnet and Steven’s rules. She was dressed nicely, she had given Amethyst gifts, or at least one of them, and she wasn’t rude to Amethyst at all. Why was Amethyst laughing at her?

It all came to point where Peridot was finally fed up with Amethyst’s behavior. She was not going to tolerate this any longer.

“Amethyst, STOP LAUGHING!” She snapped, tears filling up her eyes.

Amethyst’s laughter had cut off completely. She stared at Peridot with a blank expression on her face.

“Look,” Peridot began, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but there’s no reason for you to mock me for it. If you really find my love for you so hilarious, then maybe I should just leave.”

Peridot began to walk away, but was grabbed by the arm by someone else before she could leave. She turned her head. She saw Amethyst, looking quite remorseful.

“Peri,” Amethyst said, letting go of Peridot’s arm. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t laughing at you. It’s just…look. I don’t really uh, like myself, okay? So, uh, I can’t imagine anyone have a crush on me. It’s just like a funny concept, because it just sounds so weird to me. I didn’t want to make you feel bad. I just thought it was funny that you felt that way, cuz like…I kinda like you, too. Like uh, y’know, a romantic kind of like.”

Amethyst looked back at Peridot. Peridot was staring at her, with starry eyes and her mouth agape.

For a few moments, both of them were silent, with Amethyst looking around and scratching the back of her head.

“Dude, you’re making this more awkward than it already is,” Amethyst finally said, looking Peridot in the eye once again.

“O-oh, I’m sorry!” Peridot blurted out, looking away and covering her eyes.

“It’s ok, Peri,” Amethyst assured her, patting her on the back.

The two of them were silent once again, they both looked around at everything else except them, before Amethyst asked a question, “Hey, Peridot, you ever been kissed before?”

“No, what is this ‘kiss’ you speak of?” Peridot inquired, looking back at Amethyst.

“You’ve seen Camp Pining Hearts, haven’t ya?”

“Of course! Every single episode.”

“And what about that first moment from the first episode you watched, where Paulette and Percy performed that ‘strange ritual’?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. What about it?”

“They were kissing.”

“…That’s what kissing is?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought they were attempting to form a fusion.”

“Nope. They were kissing.”

“And are you mentioning that to me because…you want to kiss me?”

“If you’re up for it.”

Peridot thought to herself for a few moments before she made a final decision.

“Yes, Amethyst,” She concluded. “I will kiss you.”

“Cool,” Amethyst responded. “Now, first, what we have to do is get a little closer.”

Amethyst moved closer towards Peridot and grabbed her hand.

“Dude,” she said, placing a hand on Peridot’s cheek. “Relax. I can feel you shaking.”

Peridot nodded.

Still having a hand placed on the green gem’s cheek, Amethyst used it to pull Peridot’s face closer to her own.

“Get ready,” Amethyst whispered.

She puckered up her lips and pressed them against Peridot’s. She let go of the green gem’s hand, only to pull her closer with a hug.

Amethyst knew she could’ve gone further with the kiss, but she and Peridot had been cut off by the unmistakable sound of Garnet cheering from inside the barn.

Embarrassed, Amethyst let go of Peridot, looking away and blushing deeply.

It was only after a few seconds that she looked back at Peridot and saw stars in the green gem’s eyes once again, this time accompanied by a deep blue blush.

“Holy smokes,” Peridot whispered.


	3. The Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Peridot go on more dates and develop their relationship further.

Amethyst and Peridot continued their date into the late night. Peridot gave Amethyst the rest of her gifts; a violet hairbrush with a fancy floral pattern on it’s back, a pair of coupons from Fish Stew Pizza, and a superhero comic book. These gifts had been chosen previously by Garnet and Steven, and delicately wrapped in lavender gift-wrap and teal ribbon by Pearl. Noticing Pearl’s signature wrapping, Amethyst couldn’t help but tear it up in to pieces, waiting to hear the distant groaning and squawking from Pearl inside the barn.

The two of them gazed at the stars from the soft grass beside the barn, Amethyst pointing at different stars, asking their name, and Peridot giving an answer. The two gems held each other’s hands as they watched the night, both secretly hoping that it wouldn’t end, and that they could keep lying on the grass, looking at the stars forever.  
It felt so…peaceful.

Unfortunately though, all nights must come to an end. Pearl and Garnet came to notice Steven was growing tired, and felt they should to take him back to the temple so he could rest. Amethyst followed the rest of the gems up to the warp pad, but not before Peridot gave Amethyst her last gift; a bouquet of red roses, provided by Garnet.

Before handing the rest of the bouquet to Amethyst, Peridot plucked one rose out by her thumb and index finger and gently placed it inside Amethyst’s long, lavender hair. Peridot handed the bouquet over to Amethyst, and then proceeded to give the purple gem a short, flustered kiss on the cheek.

Peridot waved goodbye to the rest of the Crystal Gems as they warped into the air and over to the temple.

Then, at that moment, she was alone, left to process the events of the evening that had just blessed her with such a wonderful date, despite the rocky start. Peridot wanted to talk with someone about what had happened, but who? The other gems had just left, and Peridot had no doubts that Lapis wouldn’t care, despite the two of them being on better terms as of recently. The only one left was herself. So, what would she do but start enthusiastically running around the barn, squealing and cheering to herself. She did this for minutes and minutes until she heard an angry Lapis yell from inside the barn, “BE QUIET!”

Peridot did cease all of her hyperactive, fangirl-like behavior, but still giggled quietly to herself. She just couldn’t contain her excitement, no matter how hard she tried. All she could think of was would happen tomorrow, and the days that followed it.

Over the following weeks, Amethyst and Peridot went out on more dates, to more varied places. Despite Peridot not particularly wanting to eat at Fish Stew Pizza, or just eat in general, she would do it for Amethyst. After all, those coupons were meant for the two of them to use.

On some dates, Amethyst taught Peridot about Earth culture and practices. She taught Peridot how to sleep, which resulted in Peridot occasionally coming over to the temple just so she could sleep and cuddle with Amethyst. She taught Peridot about pranks, which led to the two of them teaming up to prank people all around Beach City, the rest of the Crystal Gems included.

During these weeks, Garnet taught Peridot how to flirt and be romantic, rather than just explaining to her what those two things were. Peridot listened intently, and never forgot a single detail of her lessons with Garnet.

It was on one particular date that Peridot masterfully executed her flirting skills that she’d learned from Garnet.

Amethyst and Peridot were sitting on the beach, seeing the waves of the ocean peacefully roll across each other, as the water itself gleamed in the light of the night. Peridot reached slowly for Amethyst’s hand, and wrapped her own around it. 

Amethyst turned her head toward the green gem and looked down at their hands, and proceeded to hold on tighter to Peridot’s hand, looking up to smile at her. Peridot blushed deeply, and looked away for a second, before she began to talk.

“Hey, Amethyst,” She started, looking Amethyst directly in the eye.

“Yeah, Peri?” Amethyst asked.

“I have two words for you.”

“’Kay, what are they?”

“I love you.”

“Hehe, you doof, those are three words.”

“No, they aren’t. That’s because you and I are one.”

Despite how corny the pick-up line was, Amethyst couldn’t help but blush.

“Oh, and Amethyst?” Peridot spoke once again. “I have a question for you.”

“What is it?” Amethyst replied, still blushing.

“Did you perhaps sit on a pile of sugar? Because, I’ve noticed you have a rather sweet butt.”

Amethyst was blushing even harder now. Her face had turned a different, darker shade of purple. She covered her face with her hands and turned away from Peridot.

“Peri, you dork,” she said, her voice cracking. “When did you get so smooth?”

“I have no idea, Amethyst,” Peridot replied, beginning to hold one of Amethyst’s hands. “I guess Homeworld just made me this way. Perhaps, it was one of their better accomplishments.”

Amethyst giggled, still one hand covering her face.

Peridot grabbed Amethyst’s other hand, and began to lean in closer to her.  
This time, they were alone. Nobody could interrupt them.

She puckered up her lips and pressed them against Amethyst’s. She then let go of Amethyst’s hands and hugged her tightly. Amethyst hugged Peridot back, and closed her eyes.

Their lips separated for one second, only to touch again. Peridot moved a hand up to grab a part of Amethyst’s hair. The two of them were now on the ground, on top of each other, still kissing.

They kept kissing for a few more minutes until Amethyst finally let go of Peridot and pushed her up a little bit.

“What’s wrong?” Peridot inquired. “Was my performance of the kiss inadequate?”  
“Nah, dude,” Amethyst said quietly, pulling up a tank-top strap of hers that had gone off-shoulder. “That kiss was just gettin’ a bit too heated, even for me.”  
“Oh,” Peridot replied, blushing. “I got a bit carried away, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did.” Amethyst whispered, looking up at Peridot with lidded eyes. “But, I liked it.”

“Y-you did?”

“Yeah, Peri. I loved it, actually. You’re a good kisser.”

“Well, um, thank you. I did learn it from you, after all.”

“He he, thanks.”

The two of them stood up.

“Well, Peri,” Amethyst said, looking up at the temple. “I should probably get goin’ now. See ya later. “

Amethyst gave Peridot one last peck on the lips, and then walked away, back up to the temple. Peridot wanted to say goodbye too, but instead followed her upstairs to the house.

Standing at the door, Amethyst looked back to Peridot, a bewildered expression on her face.

“Uh, dude, don’t you have somewhere to be?” She asked.

“Um, Amethyst,” Peridot began, looking away and grabbing on to her own arm. “I actually wanted to stay here with you tonight.”

“Okay, that’s cool,” Amethyst replied, opening the door.

The two of them walked inside, only to be met with Garnet and Pearl standing in front of them, beaming.

“So, how’d it go?” Pearl asked them.

“You ask this every time,” Amethyst laughed.

“That’s because we want to know every time,” Garnet replied, crossing her arms and smiling. “So, tell us.”

“We made out,” Amethyst answered.

“Oh, well, err,” Pearl responded, backing away a little. “While, that wasn’t the response I was expecting, I’m, uh, happy you two did that, I suppose?”

“Good job,” Garnet said, giving Amethyst a thumb’s up.

“Garnet!” Pearl interjected. “Um, you two, we shouldn’t be discussing this right now, Steven could be listening-“

Pearl heard Steven say from up in his room “I’m okay with it, Pearl!” before she could finish what she was saying.

“See, P?” Amethyst asked. “He doesn’t care.”

“Still,” Pearl replied. “It’s inappropriate. Also, if Peridot is staying for the night, make sure she has a place to sleep, if she wants it.”

“She already has a place. It’s in my room, and in my bed. If ya know what I mean.”

“AMETHYST!”

Before Pearl could scold her even further, Amethyst picked up Peridot for a piggyback ride and sprinted past Pearl. Amethyst carried Peridot on her shoulders as they laughed together, running to Amethyst’s room.

Amethyst’s gem glowed, and the door for her room opened up and closed for her and Peridot. Their laughter could still be heard from outside the room. Pearl sighed.

“Y’know, Pearl,” Garnet said, looking at the white gem through her shades. “Even if you disapprove of their more inappropriate behaviors, you have to admit, Amethyst and Peridot are pretty cute together.”

“Yes, that is true,” Pearl replied, smiling.

Steven happily ran downstairs to join the conversation.

“Yeah! They’re adorable! I hope maybe they get married some day!”

“He he, they don’t get married, but I do see a bright future ahead for the two them.”

Steven and Pearl gasped in unison.

“What is it, Garnet?!” Steven asked excitedly. “Tell us!”

“Can’t tell,” Garnet responded.

“Awww, why not?! Why won’t you tell us?!” Steven complained.

“Because,” Garnet smiled, adjusting her shades. “I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.”


	4. Quiet Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Peridot fuse for the first time.

For the rest of the night, Amethyst and Peridot shared Amethyst’s room. Amethyst dug through the mountainous piles of trash and furniture in her room until she found a comfy bed that had just enough room for the two of them. She unearthed a fluffy blue blanket and a pair of pillows from another pile, and set them out on the bed.

Peridot climbed up on to the bed and gestured for Amethyst to come up to. Amethyst lied down on the bed and pulled up the blanket to her chest. Peridot laid her head down on the pillow, pulled her side of the blanket up to her chest, then wrapped an arm around Amethyst. She moved closer to her, and the rested her head on the purple gem’s chest. Amethyst wrapped both arms around Peridot, and buried her face in the green gem’s big, triangular hair. It was surprisingly soft and comfy.

Peridot always enjoyed cuddling with Amethyst before they slept. Amethyst was so soft and warm, and her hair was the fluffiest thing Peridot had ever felt. She couldn’t help but feel and pet it every time she had the chance to.

After minutes of warm, soft cuddling, the two of them had fallen asleep; in the exact position they’d formed earlier, with Peridot’s gem touching Amethyst’s.

The rest of the night was quiet, Steven had fallen asleep as well, Pearl had into her own room, and Garnet to the Burning Room to study bubbled gems.

The next day, however, was wild, just as it always was when you let Peridot and Amethyst roam the town together.

First, they ran inside the Big Donut.

“Hey, Amethyst, Peridot!” Sadie greeted, as they ran up to the counter. “What’ll it be?”

“Give us two of your chocolate donuts, please,” Peridot responded, holding up two fingers.

Sadie grabbed two chocolate donuts from under the counter, stuffed them inside a paper bag, and handed them to Peridot.

“That’ll be $3.39,” She said.

Amethyst grabbed two $2 bills from inside her hair and placed them on the counter, in front of Sadie. “Keep the change, dude.”

“Bye, have a nice day!” Sadie called as the two gems ran out the door.

Outside, Amethyst took the bag from Peridot, and sat down on the bench.

“You want one?” She asked, picking up one of the donuts and holding them up.

Peridot studied it for a second before grabbing it, and saying “Sure.”

Peridot sat down on the bench and leaned on Amethyst’s side.

“So,” Peridot began, looking up to Amethyst. “Did that human money belong to you, or?”

“Greg gave it to me,” Amethyst replied.

“Of course, Steven’s…’dad’.” Peridot reluctantly took a bite out of the donut, knowing the process that would come later.

After they finished the donuts, they ran across the town to pull their pranks on the citizens of Beach City.

While Mayor Dewey was giving a speech about the beginnings of summer to the townspeople, Amethyst and Peridot took inspiration from Steven and Lapis by taking turns making fart noises during his speech, hearing people in the small crowd snicker, and waiting for Mayor Dewey to acknowledge the noises.

Once he did, Peridot and Amethyst then ran away, while they giggled to themselves.

Into the night, they ran wild until they decided to go the beach once again to enjoy some quiet time and evening scenery.

They held hands once again, Peridot caressing Amethyst’s with her thumb.

After a few minutes, Amethyst broke the silence.

“Hey, Peri,” Amethyst started, looking the green gem in the eye. “Remember what Steven taught you about music?”

“Yes,” Peridot responded.

“Wanna listen to some?”

“Sure.”

Amethyst got up and pulled a phone out from inside her hair. “This is Steven’s. He let me borrow it,” She mentioned, turning the phone on.

She maneuvered a finger to the music app, and scrolled through a playlist of songs Steven had downloaded, until she came up to one song she recognized the title of.  
She remembered it from the days she’d hung out with Vidalia, recalling the multiple times she listened to it with her. Out of pure nostalgia, it was the song she picked.  
She set the phone down on the sand.

As the song began to play, she started to dance.

She wiggled her hips, threw her hands into the air, and used them to her hair.

Peridot watched her, mesmerized by how beautiful she was, and how energetic she was.

She was knocked out of trance the moment she heard Amethyst ask, “Wanna dance with me?”

Peridot looked up. Amethyst was holding out a hand, looking down at her with sultry eyes.

Peridot lifted up a hand, and slowly, hesitantly, rested on Amethyst’s.  
Amethyst held on to Peridot’s hand and lifted her off of the sand.

She grabbed the green gem’s free hand as well, and said, “Just follow my lead.”

First, they stepped back and forth to the beat of the music; Peridot looking down at her Amethyst’s feet, making sure she followed the steps Amethyst took.

Amethyst then grabbed Peridot by the waist and spun her around twice, with Peridot resting her hands on Amethyst’s shoulders as she was spun around.

Amethyst then proceeded to dip Peridot close to the ground, with one of the green gem’s legs wrapping around her thigh.

Amethyst had one hand resting on Peridot’s back, and the other on her neck.

They looked into each other’s eyes as their gems began to glow.

Peridot wrapped both of her arms around Amethyst’s neck, and Amethyst carried her closer, until they both leaned in to kiss each other.

Suddenly, their bodies became light, and melded into each other, and out of the light came a new being, a new gem.

Her skin was colored teal, and her hair a light cyan. She was twice the size of their two individual heights, sporting a short hairstyle that was pointed and up on one side of her head, flowing into one large bang that drooped over the other side of her head.  
Her body wasn’t skinny, nor chubby, but average, as well as curvaceous.

Her outfit was something like a leotard, the top half split into two long straps that went over her chest, one colored deep blue green and the other deep mauve. The straps were interrupted by a long mint green belt that wrapped around her stomach. The bottom half was deep blue green, like one of the straps on the top.

Her leggings were deep mauve, with mint green four-pointed star cutouts on each knee.

On her feet, she wore teal boots with white toes, and on her face she wore an aqua visor, that showed Peridot’s gem and the fusion’s two pairs of eyes, the bottom pair indigo, and the top turquoise. 

On her arms, she wore deep mauve wristbands.

The fusion opened her eyes and observed her surroundings. She looked at her hands, and used one to feel the other.

She used one of her hands to feel Amethyst’s gem, now indigo and dark teal, rather than purple. She then felt her lips, which were round and plump, just like Amethyst’s.

“Amethyst?” She asked herself.

Her voice’s pitch was in-between Peridot and Amethyst’s, with the regular raspy edge that her component gems carried.

The fusion adjusted her visor, and felt Peridot’s gem with her hand. It was now indigo, rather than green.

“Peridot?” She asked herself.

She grabbed her wrist and stared off into space for a few moments, lost in thought.  
At that moment, the fusion realized who she was, why she was here, and what had just happened. A huge grin slowly spread across her face. She let out a loud cheer and began to run and jump across the beach, squealing and giggling to herself.

In her excitement, she wasn’t looking wear she was running and ended up tripping over a rock.

On the ground, she covered her face with her hands, giggling until broke out into a fit of full-on laughter.

Once she’d gotten all the laughter out of her system, she pondered what to do next.

She was a fusion. Should she have a purpose to fight or complete a task? Or should she have a purpose of love?

She didn’t know yet, as she had practically just been formed.

But, all she knew, was that she loved herself, and the gems that composed her. She wanted people to know who she was.

She sprung up and ran up to the beach house on the temple.

She sprinted up the stairs and swung the door open.

Garnet and Pearl were sitting on the couch, talking to each other, until Garnet noticed the fusion standing at the door and gasped.

Pearl turned her head around, asking, “What?” Then she saw the fusion, and gasped as well.

The fusion walked more into the house as Garnet and Pearl got up from the couch.

From upstairs, the three of them could hear Steven ask, “What is it, guys?”

He then ran down the stairs, and saw the fusion. He gasped loudly, stars in his eyes.

“Hey, guys,” The fusion greeted. “The name’s Fluorite. I know. I look awesome, don’t I?”

Steven ran up to Fluorite and gave her a big, warm hug.

“You two did it! You fused!” He cheered, looking up at her. “It’s so nice to meet you, Fluorite! How do you feel?!”

Fluorite looked up and pondered for a second, “I feel…big.”

She averted her gaze to Garnet and Pearl. Pearl was smiling and holding her wrist, and Garnet had a wide, happy grin spread across her face, and her hands on her cheeks.

Garnet and Pearl walked up to Fluorite, and Steven let go of her.

“I’m so happy for you two,” Pearl said, smiling. “You must feel amazing.”

Fluorite giggled, “I do!”

Garnet approached Fluorite closer, and rested her hands on the fusion’s shoulders.

“I saw a potential future that included you, Fluorite,” She began, beaming. “I’m so glad that it came to be true. I know it might feel a bit strange, fusing for the first time, but the more you do it, the more you will get used to it. Remember this, though. You are not two gems, and you are not one gem. You are an experience. Your future is in your own hands now, Fluorite. Do as you please, but do so wisely. You can stay here for the moment, if you’d like, or you can go out and explore the world. If you stay, make yourself at home. If you go, then go have fun. What will it be?”

Fluorite looked down at the ground and thought to herself.

“I want to go out and explore the world,” She answered, looking up at Garnet, smiling.

“Then,” Garnet replied. “Go on, and have a wonderful time. I hope to see your face more often in the future.”

Fluorite ran to the door and began to leave, but was stopped once again by Garnet.

“By the way, Fluorite, here’s something you should remember for when you unfuse.”

Fluorite stared at Garnet, and waited for what to remember.

Garnet smiled once again, and finally said, “Peridot…I’m proud of you.”

Fluorite smiled, and then ran out the door and into the world, ready to explore it, and to explore herself.


	5. Percy and Pierre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Peridot watch Camp Pining Hearts together.

It truly was a wonderful night.

Fluorite had felt so many wonderful emotions at the same time; joy, pride, freedom, ambition, confidence, peace, and a need to explore and discover everything she could. But, most of all, she had felt love. She felt the combined love of both Peridot and Amethyst, their love for each other and more recently themselves.

She had only just come into the world, and yet, she wanted to stay there forever.  
However, the night came to an end once she had to unfuse.

At around the crack of dawn, Fluorite went back over to the beach and proceeded to defuse into Peridot and Amethyst.

Upon unfusing, Peridot and Amethyst stared at each other in awe for a few moments.

Then, the two of them hugged each other tightly. They laughed and danced with joy.

“Dude, we were AWESOME!” Amethyst shouted, pumping her fists up in the air.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!” Peridot yelled back at her. “THAT WAS MY VERY FIRST FUSION! IT WAS _AMAZING _!!!”__

__For the rest of the morning, they ran around freely, dancing and cheering with each other, gushing over how great fusion had felt._ _

__Over the course of time, Amethyst and Peridot became gradually harder and harder to separate. Amethyst would spend days at the barn, Peridot would spend days at the temple, and they formed Fluorite more and more, until it became difficult to tell exactly how long she’d been fused in the first place. It came to a point where Fluorite stayed fused for days, going into weeks._ _

__None of the other gems or Steven had wanted to stop Peridot and Amethyst from being together and loving each other, even if the two of them got a bit too wild at times._ _

__Sure, there were times when the two of them had a small disagreement, or weren’t sure where to take their relationship. There were also times where they had to comfort each other, where one of them took turns being the shoulder to cry on. But, they were equal. They loved each other._ _

__On one quiet evening, Peridot and Amethyst were inside the barn, marathoning Camp Pining Hearts episodes together. Peridot had curled up in Amethyst’s lap, resting the back of her head against one of the purple gem’s thighs. As they watched, Amethyst started to gently stroke Peridot’s hair. Peridot always enjoyed it when Amethyst did this. It was such a nice feeling._ _

__The other hand that Amethyst hadn’t been using was being held by both of Peridot’s hands. Amethyst could feel Peridot playing around with her fingers, poking at them and squeezing them. She didn’t mind it at all. In fact, it tickled her a little bit._ _

__Peridot pulled Amethyst’s hand forward and kissed it delicately. The purple gem looked down at her and smiled warmly. Peridot looked up and smiled back._ _

__Eventually, they got to an episode that prominently featured Percy and Pierre, onscreen, talking to each other._ _

__Peridot was trying so hard to contain her excitement, but it was hard to._ _

__As the episode went on, Peridot thought less about what was going on onscreen, and more about her relationship with Amethyst. Suddenly, a thought came to her, a thought that she couldn’t keep to herself._ _

__Peridot freed a hand and grabbed the remote. She pressed the “pause” button._ _

__On the TV, the episode’s film froze, coincidentally, on a frame depicting Percy and Pierre talking to each other, both of them smiling._ _

__Amethyst looked down at Peridot, moderately surprised._ _

__“Well, that’s the first time you’ve done that,” She said, laughing a little. “What’s up, Peri?”_ _

__Peridot averted her gaze to Amethyst._ _

__“Amethyst,” She began. “Do you want to know why I think so highly of Percy and Pierre as a pair?”_ _

__“Go ahead, dude,” Amethyst replied. “Tell me.”_ _

__“It is because they would undoubtedly create the best fusion out of all the other humans in the camp.”_ _

__Peridot got up from her comfortable position, and stood in front of the TV._ _

__“Think about it. If they were to work with each other, they could dominate the entire camp! Also, taking into account…”_ _

__Amethyst listened to Peridot rave on about Percy and Pierre. She’d heard this same long rant from Peridot who knows how many times, but she didn’t mind. Peridot’s nerdy speeches were actually pretty adorable. Sometimes, Peridot would make expressive gestures and say very certain and particular things with extra emphasis._ _

__Over the course of her long speech, she heard Peridot make the same points about the pair that she had before, mentioning things like excellence in aquatic sports, and like always, insulting Paulette’s character, saying once again that there was no place for her in the camp’s hierarchy._ _

__However, at the end of her rant, she mentioned something she hadn’t before._ _

__“…I’ve also found a new reason to respect Percy and Pierre. Do you want to know what it is?”_ _

__“What?” Amethyst asked._ _

__“They remind me of us.”_ _

__At those words, Amethyst was slightly taken aback. “Wait…really?”_ _

__“Yes, really,” Peridot responded, sitting down on her knees in front of Amethyst. “While Percy and Pierre are an amazing pair, you and I are just as great. Perhaps, even better.”_ _

__Amethyst blinked. She was having a rather difficult time processing what Peridot was saying to her._ _

__“Do I really mean that much to you?” She inquired._ _

__“Yes, why wouldn’t you, Amethyst? You’re amazing.”_ _

__Peridot rested her hand on Amethyst’s thigh._ _

__“You really think I’m that special?” Amethyst asked once again, pushing some hair out of her face._ _

__“Yes,” Peridot replied. “You do. You’re perfect.”_ _

__“Nah, I’m not. I’m defective, remember?”_ _

__“Yes, you are. But, your defects are what makes you perfect.”_ _

__“Wow, Peri. I think you should cut back on the cheese, there._ _

__“…I beg your pardon?”_ _

__“You’re being really sappy, dude.”_ _

__“This has nothing to do with sap! I’m being sincere! Is it wrong to be sincere in a relationship?”_ _

__“Nah, dude, it’s not.”_ _

__“Then tell me why you didn’t appreciate my compliment!”_ _

__“Just because I said it was cheesy doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate it.”_ _

__Peridot looked down her hand that she’d rested on Amethyst. Then, she looked back up to the purple gem’s face._ _

__“…Amethyst?”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“I love you.”_ _

__“Love you too, Peri.”_ _

__Seconds later, Peridot grabbed the straps of Amethyst’s tank top, and pulled the purple gem in to kiss her on the lips. She then moved her hands down to hug Amethyst tightly, grabbing her hair at the sides. Amethyst rested her hands on Peridot’s back, slowly moving them up and down._ _

__Once again, the two of them fell down on the floor, still kissing each other. As they kissed, one of Amethyst’s legs dangled in the air. Peridot’s hands moved up to hold Amethyst’s cheeks. Their lips separated for a moment, Peridot rose up a bit, and Amethyst opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue._ _

__The purple gem pulled Peridot in by the straps on her uniform, and kissed her once more, this time moving her tongue around inside the green gem’s mouth. And, as she did, their gems began to glow._ _

__Then, their bodies became light, and phased into each other. In the next moment, Fluorite had returned, lying on the floor with her eyes closed, her mouth open, and her tongue sticking out, moving around in the air._ _

__It took her a moment to realize that she was actually there._ _

__When she did, she opened her eyes and pulled her tongue back inside of her mouth._ _

__As she laid on the floor, Fluorite blushed a little, thinking about the process Amethyst and Peridot had went through to form her just a few seconds ago. However, she was happy to be back._ _

__Fluorite sat upright and reached for the remote, then pressed the “play” button._ _

__She faced towards the TV, crossed her legs, and proceeded to spend the rest of the night marathoning the rest of Camp Pining Hearts, watching it intently, and enjoying every second of it._ _

__It was truly amazing. Fluorite was by herself, and yet she didn’t feel alone. She always felt like she had someone with her, keeping her company. It was a warm, pleasant feeling, and she wanted it to last forever._ _


	6. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Amethyst decide to stay fused permanently.

Over the night, going into morning, Fluorite stayed fused.

She remained fused for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 days…1, 2, 3 weeks…

1 month. A month and a half had already passed once she defused again inside of Amethyst’s room, though, for a brief amount of time.

“Amethyst?” Peridot asked after defusing.

“Yeah, Peri?” Amethyst responded. “What is it?”

“I…uh…I love you.”

“Hehe, I love you, too.”

“I really enjoy spending my time with you, and being fused with you.”

“Same here, dude.”

Peridot turned her head and blushed, rubbing the back of her neck. She knew she was probably making this more awkward than it needed to be, but she’d wanted to say these things to Amethyst for who knows how long.

“Amethyst,” She cleared her throat. “When we fuse, I feel…safer. I feel less alone. And I, err, feel confident. I hope I don’t come across as creepy, but…I never really like it when we’re separated. Without you, I feel like a part of myself is missing. When I’m alone at the barn, all I can think about is you, and wanting to fuse with you again.”

“Wow, Peridot,” Amethyst replied, crossing her arms.

“What???”

“You’re so gay. I didn’t think it was possible for somebody to be this gay.”

“Oh…I see.”

Peridot looked away from Amethyst, thinking of how to word herself. She didn’t want to scare Amethyst away. She’d never felt such a connection with any other gem. No other gem loved her the way Amethyst did. She wanted to keep this love for as long as she possibly could. She had to say this in the least awkward way possible, but it was going to be hard.

“Could we…um, do this forever?”

“Uh…do what forever?”

“Fuse. Can we stay fused forever?”

“You mean…like Garnet?”

“Yes, exactly like Garnet.”

“Uh…hold on, Peri. You’re gonna have to give me a moment to think about this.”

Amethyst turned around and sat down a small, soft pile of junk.

She wasn’t sure if she’d been prepared to hear those words come from Peridot’s mouth. Perma-fusion was a big step forward, and Amethyst wasn’t sure if she’d wanted to take it. There were still things Amethyst didn’t know about Peridot, and things Peridot didn’t know about her. She knew they didn’t have to know everything about each other, sure, after all, Garnet’s been fused almost non-stop for nearly 6,000 years, and Ruby and Sapphire still don’t know everything about each other. But, Amethyst felt as if it was too soon to ask this. She’d only been in a relationship with Peridot for 3 months.

There was also the big, burning question of “What would Garnet think?”

Amethyst thought for a few minutes. Then she decided, why not take the chance? She knew she and Peridot wouldn’t disappear if they were inside Fluorite, so there was no reason to fret about it.

Amethyst stood up. “Sure, Peridot.”

“R-really?” Peridot stammered, blushing deeply. “You will?!”

“Yeah.”

Peridot frantically looked around at everything except for Amethyst, lost for words, sweating and chewing on her fingers.

“Oh. Oh. Oh my, um, I didn’t think you’d actually say yes. I don’t- I don’t know what to do now. Uh…”

She looked back at the purple gem, still sweating. Peridot stood up straight and cleared her throat.

“So,” She began. “Does this mean we’re married?”

At that question, Amethyst broke out into a fit of snorting laughter.

“Hahaha! Sure, hehe, why not?! We just gotta – pfft – arrange the wedding, first!” Amethyst giggled.

Peridot didn’t think it was possible, but she was blushing even more now. “Uh, Amethyst??”

“Heh, yeah, Peri?”

“When is the wedding going to happen?”

Just when she’d calmed down, Amethyst was roaring with laughter once again.

“PERIDOT,” She laughed. “LET’S JUST FUSE ALREADY!”

Still laughing, Amethyst ran over to Peridot and hugged her tightly. Then, she lifted Peridot off the ground, still hugging her, while the green gem wrapped her arms around Amethyst’s shoulders.

They spun around and around, laughing to each other, until inevitably, Fluorite came about once again.

Fluorite realized she’d been put back in control, and immediately knew what she was supposed to do.

She used Amethyst’s gem to open up the door to Amethyst’s room, and walked out, on to the floor inside of Steven’s house.

Garnet was alone, sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper, until she directed her attention to Fluorite.

“Greetings, Fluorite,” Garnet greeted with a warm smile. “Nice to see you again.”

“Uhh, hi, Garnet,” Fluorite replied nervously, rubbing the back of her head with her hand.

“You seem tense,” She observed, folding her newspaper in half.

Garnet raised up a hand and patted the seat next to her, “Come. Sit down with me.”

Fluorite walked over the warp pad, around the table, to the couch where Garnet had rested.

She sat down next to her and, for the next few moments, stared at her awkwardly.

“What’s troubling you, Fluorite?” Garnet asked, resting her gloved, magenta hand on Fluorite’s bare, teal hand.

“Well, Garnet, there’s something I want to tell you. Something extremely important.”

“What is it?”

“Well, you see, like, I really enjoy being myself. Peridot and Amethyst really enjoy being around each other, and they don’t like it when they’re separated. So, like, I wanted to tell you, that…I want to stay fused. Y’know…like you.”

“Hmm.”

“What? Did I say something weird??? I’m sorry, I-“

“No, it’s not that. I’m just interested. So, you say you want to stay fused forever, just like me?”

“Well, I didn’t really word it exactly like that.”

“But it is what you said, is it not?”

“…I guess? Yes. I want to stay fused permanently. Just like you.”

“Hehe, I’m happy for you, Fluorite. Just remember what I told you when you first fused. You’re an experience, and you must make sure you’re a good one.”

“Okay! I’ll make sure that I remember that.”

Garnet picked up her newspaper, unfolded it, and continued reading, while Fluorite still sat on the couch, tapping her fingers on her thighs.

After minutes and minutes of silence Fluorite finally turned to Garnet and asked, “Sooo, what do I do now?”

“Go have fun,” Garnet responded, smiling at Fluorite.

“Okay!”

Fluorite got up, and ran out the door, leaving it unclosed.

Garnet continued reading her newspaper, waiting for Steven and Pearl to arrive.

“So, Amethyst and Peridot have made the decision to stay fused permanently,” Garnet addressed to Steven and Pearl as they arrived back at the temple in the night.

“They HAVE?!” Steven replied incredulously, stars in his eyes. “OH MY GOSH! JUST LIKE YOU, GARNET!”

Garnet smiled. “Yes, Steven, just like me.”

“I had a feeling it would happen eventually, with how often they’ve been fusing lately,” Pearl chimed in, putting a hand to her cheek. “Oh, I’m so happy for them!”

“I feel that with this new arrangement,” Garnet said. “We should make Fluorite a new member of the Crystal Gems.”

“Wha? But, Garnet,” Pearl interjected, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “She’s a fusion of Peridot and Amethyst, isn’t she already a Crystal Gem by default?”

“She may be, but she might not feel like one. What I wanted to say was that she should try to make her feel a Crystal Gem, and make her feel welcome here in the temple.”

“Oh. Well, you’re right.”

“This is so GREAT!” Steven cheered, hugging Garnet. “You and Fluorite can be FUSION BUDDIES! Ooh, and she can come along on missions! She can also just hang out with us whenever, it’s gonna be so awesome!!!”

“Yes,” Garnet responded, giggling. “Yes it is, Steven.”

Moments later, the door opened, and Fluorite came into the house.

She was mildly surprised to be greeted with three smiling faces when she walked in. It made her ponder if something important happened while she was gone.

“Hello, Fluorite!” Pearl greeted happily, walking over to the teal fusion and shaking hands with her. “It’s so nice to see you again!”

“HEY FLUORITE!” Steven yelled enthusiastically, running over to the teal fusion and attack-hugging her. “Are you excited to be fusion buddies with Garnet?!”

“Uhh, what?” Fluorite asked him, completely dumbfounded.

“Fluorite,” Garnet began.

Fluorite looked over to her; she was beaming.

“We’ve been talking about you, and I think we can all agree on one thing,” She continued.

Fluorite was sweating once again. “W-what?”

“We’ve agreed that you can stayed fused forever, but on one condition.”

“W-what’s the condition?”

“You have to become the newest member of the Crystal Gems!”

“…Oh. I thought you were gonna say something bad. Sure! I’d love to join you guys, even though I don’t technically have to since we’re- I mean, Amethyst and Peridot are already-“

Before Fluorite could finish her sentence, Garnet came in to hug her.

After that, Pearl joined the group to hug Fluorite. “Welcome to the Crystal Gems!” She said cheerfully.

“We love you, Fluorite!” Steven smiled up at her, still hugging her tightly.

Fluorite blushed.

While, in her opinion, the welcoming was unnecessary, it felt good.

In fact, it felt great. She couldn’t help but smile.

There was just something about a group hug from Steven, Garnet, and Pearl that felt so warm and familiar to her.

After she’d confessed to Garnet, she wasn’t exactly sure if she made the correct choice stay fused permanently. But right then, she knew.  
It was at that moment, that Fluorite knew she wanted to stay.


	7. Happy Birthday, Steven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluorite finds out it's Steven's birthday and plans to celebrate by spending the day with him.

Around the barn, around the temple, and around Beach City, they didn’t see Peridot and Amethyst anymore. Instead, there was Fluorite.

If she did unfuse, it’d be either on accident due to recklessness, or it’d be because Amethyst and Peridot wanted to kiss and cuddle.

Quickly, everyone got used to her, even Pearl, who Fluorite regularly made fun of and sought out as a target for her clever pranks.

Not many Beach City residents knew her well or had been formally introduced to her. They had just assumed that she was Peridot’s mother, or something akin to that.

Fluorite had two regular homes to stay at every now and then. Sometimes she’d hang around at the barn to watch the sunset, or sometimes you’d find her lost in one of the mountainous piles of garbage in Amethyst’s room.

Fluorite enjoyed her time so much, that she barely realized how fast it truly went by.

One minute, it was November, the next she knew, it was July of the year after, and Steven’s birthday was coming up.

It would be the first time she’d celebrate Steven’s birthday. She had to make it special in whatever way she could.

“Hey, Greg,” She called approaching Mr. Universe’s van at 3 in the morning. “Can you come out?”

…No response.

She could hear distant snoring within the van.

“GREG!” She shouted.

…Still no response.

She walked around to the back of the van and rose up both arms to start banging both fists on the back doors.

“GET OUT OF THIS DINGY VEHICLE! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!”

Fluorite kept banging on the doors until she heard movement from the inside.

The doors swung open and Fluorite backed away as Greg Universe jumped out of the van, armed with only a waffle iron.

“WHO’S HERE?! I HAVE A WAFFLE IRON AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!” He yelled while waving the iron in the air, looking away from Fluorite.

Once he heard Fluorite’s stifled laughter, though, he turned his attention to her.

“Wait, uh, you’re the fusion of Peridot and Amethyst right?” He asked, scratching his head in confusion. “I can’t remember if we’ve ever met.”

“We have. I presume you’d be too exhausted to remember meeting me, seeing as your weapon of choice was a, uh, cooking iron. I don’t think I know a guy who’d willingly chose a weapon like that in battle if he were awake and alert,” She responded, pointing at Greg’s waffle iron while she spoke.

Greg blushed. “Oh, yeah, I didn’t know if you were some kind of criminal or not, so I grabbed the first thing I saw. Your name’s Fluorite, right?”

“Of course it is. I think I’d know my own name.”

“What the heck are you doing over here? It’s 3AM! I know you gems don’t need sleep, but I certainly do!”

“Yeah, I get that, and uh, I guess I’m sorry or whatever, but I came over here because I had a favor I wanted to ask.”

“What is it?”

“It’s about Steven’s birth celebration.”

“Oh geez. Don’t make me think about it. I feel old enough already.”

“Greg, I wanted to ask you if you could, uh, host the party in the morning, rather than the afternoon.”

“So you woke me up at 3AM just to tell me to get up early in the morning?”

“Oh, just forget about the time already! Are you gonna host it in the morning or not?!”

“Well, I just want to know why.”

“I wanted to spend the day with Steven.”

“Oh, is that all? Why didn’t you just say so? I’ll move the time of the party up enough so you can spend the day with Steven. Just make sure you don’t do anything crazy with him.”

“I won’t! You can trust him with me, I promise. So, uh, what time will it be?”

“Aw geez, Fluorite, can it wait until tomorrow?! I need to get back to sleep!”

“Okay! Okay, I understand. I can wait. This is just very important to me, that’s all.”

“I’ll come and tell you when I figure it out, now let me sleep!”

After those words, Greg climbed back in the van with his waffle iron and closed the doors behind him.

It was then, that Fluorite could walk back to the temple in peace and happiness, knowing she’d get to spend the entire day with Steven tomorrow.

The only obstacle standing in her way, however, was her impatience.

She found herself obsessively checking Steven’s Cookie Cat alarm clock, mentally counting each minute that had gone by.

Eventually, she put herself to sleep by doing this.

The words that woke her up were the happy, greeting words of “Hi, Fluorite!” said by Steven when her first noticed her lying on the ground.

Fluorite looked up at him, her eyes barely open, with some drool running down her chin from her mouth.

“Whg…I…uh...whaaa???” She mumbled, staring at him cross-eyed. “What time is it?”

“It’s 7AM, Fluorite!” Steven smiled, throwing his arms up in the air. “And it’s my birthday!”

He looked down at her, beaming. Fluorite had her eyes wide open, now.

“Is 7AM what you would consider the morning?” She asked, slurring a little.

“I think so!” Steven replied. “Uh, hey, I got a question. Why are you on the floor?”

Fluorite realized her position, and lifted herself up from the ground, using Steven’s bed to assist her.

Once she got to her feet, she stared at the floor again before she said “Uh…I just think floors are neat, and, uh, really nice to lie down on?”

Steven blinked, staring at her with a blank expression. “Ok, cool. I’ll go eat some breakfast, and then you can come over to the party! It’ll be right outside, on the beach!”

Steven dropped off from his bed, and ran down the stairs to fix himself breakfast.

Not too much time later, he’d finished eating and ran outside to the party.

Fluorite quickly followed him.

Outside, in the party, there was Garnet, Pearl, Greg, and, of course Steven, as well as one little human girl that Fluorite vaguely recognized, but did not know the name of.

She was no taller than Peridot, with long, dark, wavy hair flowing down her back, wearing a blue summer dress with black flats and a sun hat that had a red bow on it.

There was something about this little girl that was so oddly familiar to Fluorite, yet she couldn’t think of where she’d seen her before.

Fluorite awkwardly approached Steven and the little girl, and gave Steven a tap on the shoulder.

Before Fluorite could speak however, the little girl took immediate notice of her unfamiliarity.

“Wait, Steven, who is she? Is that another gem?” The little girl asked, pointing at Fluorite.

It was in her voice, too. Fluorite recognized something in her voice.

“I was gonna ask you almost the same thing, kid,” Fluorite responded, crossing her arms. “Have I seen you somewhere before?”

“Oh, man!” Steven interjected. “I almost forgot to tell you!”

He cleared his throat and gestured towards Fluorite. “Connie, meet Fluorite.”

He then gestured towards the little girl. “Fluorite, meet Connie.”

Connie. A part of Fluorite had heard this name before, but she was unsure where.

“Fluorite, I know you’re probably confused, so let me explain it to you,” Steven began. “The reason you recognized Connie when you saw her is because Amethyst knows her! Amethyst knows Connie because she’s my best friend.

“So, your best friend is this human girl?” Fluorite asked, pointing over to Connie.

“Yeah! She’s really nice! I think you’ll like her!” Steven answered, throwing his arms in the air once again.

Connie walked over to the two of them to speak. “Um, hi, I hope I’m not interrupting, but, are you by any chance a fusion? Steven said something about Amethyst, and I was wondering why she wasn’t here.”

“Oh, uh, yeah! I’m a fusion of Amethyst and Peridot!” Fluorite replied, adjusting her visor, smiling down at Connie.

Connie’s expression suddenly turned to fear. She grabbed Steven and edged closer to him.

“Steven,” She whispered. “Why is Amethyst fused with Peridot?! Peridot’s a bad gem!”

“Oh, uh, I guess I forgot to tell you, Peridot’s good now!” Steven said, scratching the back of his head. “Yeah, uh, she’s not out to get us anymore. She’s apart of the Crystal Gems, now. She’s fused with Amethyst because the two of them are in love, like Ruby and Sapphire!”

Connie stared at Steven, dumbfounded. “What???”

“Just take my word for it!” He responded. “I promise you’ll like Fluorite! She’s really awkward, but she’s also really nice!”

Fluorite, still looking down at Connie, blushed, and giggled sheepishly.

“Well, in that case,” Connie said, putting up a hand in front of Fluorite. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Fluorite! I’m Connie.”

Fluorite hesitantly wrapped her hand around Connie’s.

“Um…Howdy. Nice to uh, meet you, too.” She replied shyly.

She pulled her hand away a few seconds later to say, “Sorry, I’m making this really awkward, aren’t I?”

“No, no, Fluorite!” Steven interrupted. “You did great! It could’ve been waaay worse, trust me.”

Over the course of the rest of the party, cake was shared, presents were unwrapped, songs were sung, and everyone danced.

Once the party was over, Steven approached Fluorite.

“Hey, Fluorite,” He said. “Dad said something to me about you wanting to hang out. Is that true?”

Fluorite’s eyes lit up, and a grin spread across her face. “Yeah! I wanted to spend the day with you to celebrate your day of birth!”

“Ok, that’s cool! What did you want to do?”

“Uh…I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

“Haha, that’s okay! How about, um, I come up with some ideas?”

“Like what?”

“Hmmm, oh! I got it! I can introduce you to some of my friends in Beach City!”

“Uh…sounds good.”

Steven grabbed Fluorite’s hand and guided her into town.

Along the way, they found Onion, standing at the edge of the docks, staring off into space.

“Hey, Onion!” Steven called out.

Onion turned his head to look at Steven and Fluorite.

“Onion,” Steven said. “This is Fluorite! Fluorite, this is Onion!”

Fluorite stared at Onion, puzzled. “Um…hi, Onion.”

Onion still stared at the two of them with his usual blank, hollow expression.

The three of them stared at each other for a few long moments until Steven broke the silence by dragging Fluorite away by the hand, calling out “Bye, Onion!”

Next, they went into the town.  
They stop at Fish Stew Pizza to get a pizza for two, and Steven introduced Fluorite to the Pizza family.

After sharing a delicious pizza, Steven and Fluorite continued they trip around Beach City.

Once they wanted a snack again, they went to Citywalk Fries for fry bits.

However, when he realized Ronaldo was there rather than Peedee or Fryman, he just took his fry bits and bolted away from the scene, before Ronaldo could ask even one question about Fluorite.

Once sunset had come around, it was gorgeous, and the two of them got to watch every minute of it.

The orange gone into purple sky, scattered with pink, fluffy clouds. The sparkling stars at the very top of the world, as well as the ocean glittering in the light of the sun that was so bright and visible in the distance. It wouldn’t be the smartest idea to direct your attention to the sun, though, as it could possibly leave you blind with it’s radiance.

Steven had brought out his ukulele from the house to play and sing some songs with Fluorite.

They sang the first song Peridot had learned on the planet, Peace and Love.

Though Fluorite wasn’t the best at singing, it was very well done for a first try, and Steven made sure he mentioned that when they had finished playing.

“You were really good, Fluorite! Not everybody’s that good at singing on their first try!”

Fluorite blushed. “Hehe, thanks. You were really great, too!”

“Wanna sing another song?”

“Um, nah, let’s stop for a while. My throat hurts.”

“…But, gems can’t get sore throats.”

“…Uh…I have a tummy ache. I _did_ eat a lot of stuff today.”

“Amethyst used to eat 100 times more than what you ate today _every_ day.”

“…Uh.”  
“Fluorite, if you’re feeling bad, it’s okay to tell me.”

“Steven, nothing is wrong. I’m fine.”

“I know you’re not feeling good, though. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Um, well…I have a question.”

“What?”

“Steven…do you miss Peridot and Amethyst?”

“Nope.”

“Why…?”

“Because they’re right here, sitting next to me. I mean, you guys have been with me all day, haven’t you? I don’t need to miss you guys, because you’re right here with me.”

“But, I’m not actually Peridot and Amethyst. I mean, like…I sort of am…but not really. They aren’t actually here right now. They can’t be with you because I’m here. I mean…I’m happy that I’m here. I like being me. But, I feel like I took away your friends. You seemed like you were close friends with Peridot and Amethyst, and it just feels like I’m the one that’s to blame for it. I know I’m probably being really dumb by saying this, but uh, I just can’t really stop thinking about it. So, uh…Steven…if you ever want me to unfuse so you can see Peridot and Amethyst again, I’ll do it.”

Steven blinked. “Fluorite, I don’t want you to defuse. I want to learn more about you, and do more fun stuff with you. We can’t do all that if you defuse! Plus, you’re the result of Peridot and Amethyst’s love for each other, and their happiness is just as important as yours is. I don’t want to sacrifice it. I agreed to hang out with you today because I wanted you to have fun. And, from the looks of it, you did! Both of us did. Today was a great day for you and me. So, don’t unfuse. I want you to be happy. I want you to love yourself, just like Peridot and Amethyst love each other.”

Fluorite stuck a finger underneath her visor to wipe a tear from one of her four eyes, and snickered. “Steven, you’re such a dork.”

Steven spread both his arms out and wrapped them around Fluorite’s torso, cheering “HUGS FOR FLUORITE!” as he did so.

For a few moments, Fluorite hesitated to do or say something.

Then, she rested a hand on one of Steven arms and whispered “Thanks, dude.”


	8. Lazulite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluorite tries to befriend Lapis Lazuli.

As the crisp mid-summer dawn shined over the face of the barn, Lapis sat perched on the rooftop, taking in the scenery with wistful smile on her face. The cool morning wind moved her hair and skirt for her, just as much as it moved the leaves on the trees, the blades of grass, and other miscellaneous objects of nature. It felt good to be free, open to explore the world, but there was something that made the blue gem feel hollow and apathetic on the inside. Simply put, she was just tired; unfazed by the events the world chose to throw at her. She cared for hardly anything except Steven and beauty of nature. Nobody would guess her true feelings if they only saw her sitting on the rooftop. Some people wouldn’t even care. However, Fluorite found herself to be one of the people who question what’s going on in everyone else’s heads, and Lapis was no exception to her curiosity.

Fluorite gazed at Lapis, pondering. What did Lapis think of her? Obviously Lapis was aware of Fluorite’s existence, seeing as the blue gem gave her angry glares every time she hung out at the barn. But, besides anger, what else was there? Was there some kind of bias she had? Was there some kind of curiosity that floated around in her head? Fluorite wouldn’t know, as she was no mind reader.

It came to the point where she realized that if she really wanted to know Lapis’ opinion of her, she had to ask the blue gem herself.

But, there was no possible way to make the following question not awkward:

“Excuse me, but, I know I’m a fusion of two of your captors, but what’s your opinion on me? Do you like me? No? You don’t? Ok. I don’t know why I asked.”

So, Fluorite decided she wasn’t going to ask that question.

Fluorite climbed up to the rooftop of the barn and sat next to Lapis.

Lapis, having heard the fusion climbing up and sitting down, glared furiously at her, suppressing the desire to push her off the roof.

“Nice view, huh? The Earth can be so beautiful,” Fluorite began, meekly smiling at Lapis.

“Why are you here?” Lapis hissed through closed teeth. “Don’t you have places to be?”

“Well, yeah, sure I do, but they aren’t anywhere important,” Fluorite responded, still smiling.

“Just go away,” Lapis grumbled.

“Why? I just wanna talk to you.”

“Well, you’ve done it. Now, leave.”

“No, I don’t think I’ll leave. I’m not doing anything to you by just watching the scenery. Plus, I, uh, I don’t know how to get down from here.”

“If you knew you’d get stuck, then why’d you climb up here?”

“I don’t think things through very often. I got up here because I wanted to talk. The least you can do is show me some respect.”

“Listen, you, whatever your fusion name is. I don’t have respect for the Crystal Gems, or Peridot. Not after they took part in my imprisonment. I’m not making any exceptions for some love fusion. If you wanted my respect, you would’ve done something when I was captured. But, you didn’t. So, leave.”

“Uh, Lapis, I didn’t even exist when you were captured by the Crystal Gems or Peridot. I’ve only existed for about one year, actually. I’m not Peridot. I’m not Amethyst, either. You can’t compare me to either of them because I’m not them. I’m Fluorite. I’m different. I’m something entirely new. So, uh, why don’t you actually give me a chance? I haven’t given you any reasons to hate me. Let me talk to you.”

“…Fine.”

The two gems stared at the sunrise growing brighter, hotter, and bigger as the minutes passed by. The sky became a lighter and lighter shade of blue. They could hear the birds singing their high-pitched melodies along the meadows. The two of them were silent, thinking of things to say and do. What was right ant what was wrong? You never know what kind of things could offend the person you’re talking to.

Suddenly, Lapis broke the silence.

“Fluorite,” She said, a new tone in her voice. “What’s it like, to be a fusion?”

“What’s it like being a fusion? I thought you would know that,” Fluorite replied, cocking an eyebrow.

“No,” Lapis said once again. “What’s it like being a stable fusion all the time?”

“Oh, so that’s what you meant. Hmm, well, uh, it’s…hard to describe actually. I guess…you always love yourself. You always have the confidence to do anything you set your own mind to. You always feel encouraged by others. It’s almost like there’s an entire stadium of fans cheering you on in your head. You never feel alone, because you have someone to be with. Whether it’s your component gems or even yourself. You feel happy…at peace. It’s…nice.”

“It sounds nice. I wish I could feel like that sometime.”

“Well, maybe we could - if you really want to – uh…you know???”

“Um, no. Trust me, I’d love to join in on the fun sometime, but I’m not ready to fuse again, at least now. And especially not with someone like you.”

“Oh…ok. Well, still. You’re not alone right now, are you? I’m here and I’m talking to you…and stuff.”

“It’s still not like what you described.”

“Well, um, yeah, but, it’s the next best thing.”

“I guess.”

“Hmm…”

“What?”

“Nothing. I was just thinking…would you want to hang out with me? We could get to know each other better.”

“I don’t have any other things to do. So, okay.”

“Cool! Now, uh, could you uh, give me a lift? I don’t know how to get down from here.”

Lapis stood up, summoned her water wings from behind her back, and lifted up Fluorite, carrying her off from the rooftop, and on to the soft grass.

Over the course of the day, they hung out. They bonded with each other, telling each other jokes, making fart noises every now and then.

They talked about Steven and how much they cared about him. They were honestly surprised at how much they had in common with each other. It wasn’t much, but it was some.

On the beach, they talked with each other, about how they feel about their existences. Lapis was kept on the side where the rocks were, away from the ocean, for obvious reasons.

“Nothing hurts me anymore,” Lapis stated, with a bored, apathetic look in her eyes. “I’m just numb to everything now. I don’t feel anything. Maybe it’s because of how horrible my existence has been. I keep getting trapped, captured, and used. It’s almost like it doesn’t bother me anymore, when obviously, it should. I’m just…exhausted.”

“That sounds awful. It might not mean much, but, I hope you get better, Lapis,” Fluorite replied.

“Thanks. What about you?”

“Me? Uh, well, I don’t have it like you do, that’s for sure…um…do you remember what I said? About what being a fusion is like?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that thing about a stadium of fans cheering you on…uh…I don’t always feel that confident. I feel like I’m too awkward…and that I can mess everything up. That’s uh…to be expected I guess…Amethyst and Peridot don’t have the best self esteems. I can’t imagine things would suddenly change with me.”

“I can understand how you feel. It’s probably pressuring to be a good fusion, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…hmm.”

“What?”

“Lapis?”

“What is it?”

“What was it like being Malachite.”

“…I had to fight for control. I had keep Jasper in line, keep her from taking over. I wanted her to suffer like I did. I wanted to protect Steven from her, so I trapped us under the ocean. I couldn’t hold her back for long, but I tried my hardest to. In the end, Malachite took over everything. We barely knew ourselves anymore. All we knew was her. When I was finally free, I couldn’t believe it. I knew there had to be some kind of catch to it. But, there wasn’t. I should’ve been happy, but I wasn’t. I felt nothing.”

“That sounds pretty terrifying…”

“It was, but when you’re like me, you get used to it.”

“So, Lapis?”

“What?”

“Now that we know each other, what do you think?”

“About what?”

“Me. Do you still hate me?”

“…Fluorite.”

“…Yes?”

“…I’ll tolerate you. I don’t think we can be friends, but I’ll be fine living with you if I have to.”

“That’s good enough, I guess.”

“I’ll go back home. You can come to, if you want, but you can also stay here. It’s your choice.”

Fluorite averted her gaze to Steven’s house on the temple, where she knew her room was located. “I think I’ll stay here.”

Lapis’ water wings sprung out from her back. “Bye.”

She took off, and flew away into the night; leaving small water drops behind her.

Fluorite stared into the sky where Lapis had just disappeared, and pondered once again.

She truly wondered what it was like, to be like Lapis. To have all those horrible things happen to you, and to still be standing. She wondered what it was like to feel nothing, to just feel apathy. She could never know what it was like, as she wasn’t Lapis. Although, she was still very curious as to what it was like to feel that way. She was morbidly curious, in fact.


	9. Bad Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven has a nightmare.

On a quiet night in the temple, Steven laid down in his bed, wrapped up in a blanket, sleeping peacefully.

Back in the earlier afternoon, Fluorite had tried too hard to be funny and impressive at the same time in front of Steven and Connie, which had led to her getting hurt and splitting a part into Peridot and Amethyst.

It’d been the longest the two gems had remained un-fused, mostly due to the fact Fluorite getting “hurt” had meant Amethyst had a small crack in her gem, which had caused the fusion to split a part upon impact to the gem. Amethyst was healed though, with the help of a trip to Rose’s fountain.

Before he’d gone to sleep, Steven had found himself dwelling on the concept: What if Amethyst gets hurt like that again, and I’m not around to help her? What if Peridot gets hurt like that? Would the fountain even help her?

After all, Rose had created the fountain. And Rose never knew Peridot. Would fountain still work for her, even though she was an entirely new gem, unique from all the others Rose had healed?

Steven realized that if he thought about this further, he’d be up all night thinking about it. So, he decided to draw back his curiosity, and make himself go to sleep.

What met him in his dreams didn’t exactly aid his apprehension.

\--

The beach had been turned yellow by the bright glow of all the gigantic spaceships hovering in the distance and landing on the sand.

Garnet, Fluorite, Pearl, and Steven stood frozen in fear at the sight of Yellow Diamond stepping onto the ground.

The colossal yellow gem stomped over to the gems and glared down on them, her yellow eyes glowing in the darkness of her shadow.

“How pathetic,” she hissed. She maneuvered a giant hand down the Crystal Gems and grabbed Fluorite by the waist with her thumb and index finger. “You’ve come to fuse with another gem, thinking that you’d have even the slightest chance of defeating me.”

“Y-yellow Diamond, I-I’m sorry, I—“

Before Fluorite could finish her sentence, she found Yellow Diamond’s hold on her had grown tighter, and tighter. She was crushing her.

Moments later, Fluorite had split a part.  
Peridot and Amethyst fell down to the sand.

Once the two of them had gotten up to their knees, they scurried over on the ground to hold each other as they looked up at the mountainous gem.

“Peridot,” Yellow Diamond said, her voice echoing over the beach. “Come closer.”

Peridot hesitantly, slowly, let go of Amethyst, got up to her feet, and approached Yellow Diamond closer.

Yellow Diamond slightly bent over, enough to look Peridot directly in the eyes from a distant height.

“You’ve failed you’re mission in every single way possible; proving yourself to be far, far more incompetent than an average Peridot. You’ve previously insulted me to my face and disobeyed all orders I have given you. And now, I find you fusing with a defective gem at far higher rank than your own, in a desperate attempt to grow stronger.”

“M-my Diamond, I—“

“I don’t want to hear another word from you. You are of no use to me any longer. Away with you.”

“But, I –“

At that moment, Yellow Diamond raised her foot to hover over Peridot.

Then she had stepped down on the ground, crushing the gem standing on it.

It was like stepping on a small insect. It was quick and brutal, yet painless.

There was no pain to be experienced, because it didn’t last, not even for a second.

One moment, Peridot was there, the next, she was nothing but vaguely triangular arrangement of small green shards.

Tears began to fill up Amethyst’s eyes as she stared over to the scene.

“P-peri?” She whimpered, sniffing a little.

\--

Steven then woke up yelling, “PERIDOT!” in distress, only to be met with a bewildered Fluorite staring directly at him.

“O-oh, I mean…Fluorite?” He said, scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah, dude? Is there uh, something that you want?” Fluorite asked, still staring confusedly at him.

“Um, I just had a nightmare, and…it was about you.”

“What?”

“Something bad happened to Peridot. Yellow Diamond was there and she was really mean, and Amethyst was crying, and—“

“Woah, Steven. Hey. It’s okay. I’m here right now, aren’t I? If Peridot were really dead, then it would be really weird for me to, y’know, exist right now. Everything’s fine, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“I know, but…it still scared me. What if something bad does happen to you?”

“Uh…well…let’s just be glad I’m here right now, okay, little guy?”

“Okay.”

“Go back to bed, and don’t dream about people dying this time.”

“I’ll try not to!”

After she had made certain Steven was at rest, Fluorite got up, walked around the room, and began to think.

Before now, the prospect of something horrible happening to her hadn’t really entered her mind. But now that it did, it stuck with her, and it stayed.

Fluorite then observed all the objects in the room, thinking anxiously to each individual one, “How could this kill me?”

She found herself imagining scenarios, ranging from ridiculous to gruesome, depicting any mundane object splitting her a part and shattering Peridot and Amethyst.

That bed that Steven slept on, what if the separation between the mattress and the frame was really a giant mouth, and planned to eat Fluorite up, spitting out the shards of the two gems that made her up?

Those forks and the knives…they could cut her at every single point, stabbing her right in the gems.

It was unhealthy to think this, sure, but she couldn’t stop herself. It was like a sudden storm of terror was raining thunder and lightning over her, and was never going to go away.

Death was such an unpredictable concept. Any small thing could kill her in the most gruesome way possible.

It was horrifying.

Surely, though, Garnet must have had some words of wisdom.

The following day, Fluorite hastily approached Garnet, asking the question, “Garnet, uh, this is probably really creepy to ask, but…when will I die?”

“Why are you asking me this question?” Garnet responded calm, but still obviously taken aback.

“Steven had a nightmare last night…and in it…Peridot was shattered. Is that really going to happen to me?”

“Goodness, no. I see no potential future that could possibly lead to those events. Besides, it was only a bad dream, and you weren’t even the one who dreamt it.”

“I know…but…I’m still scared. I don’t know what kind of things out there could possibly hurt Peridot or Amethyst.”

“I know, Fluorite. Sometimes, Ruby is like that as well, and she goes to Sapphire for comfort. Sapphire can never be certain of what will happen, due to Ruby’s unpredictability, but she still manages to console her. Nobody knows when death is coming, and that’s why it’s better to just pretend it isn’t there. Dwelling on the future can all too easily affect how you live in the present. Even then, I don’t have the answers. My future vision can’t see the direct future, only possibilities and distant outcomes. It’s up to you to decide your future, whether it be full of tragic accidents…or something else.”

“…Dude.”

“What’s wrong, Fluorite?”

“Nothing. That was just…really deep.”

“Thank you, I get that a lot. Do you at least feel a little better, now?”

“Yeah, uh…I think so.”

However, Fluorite still had that lingering fear of the inevitable. She could feel a storm coming, and she wasn’t sure when it would arrive.

But, at the mean time, let’s pretend that it’s not there, and that everything will be okay.


	10. Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluorite goes on a mission.

Over the course of the next few days, Fluorite watched her back near obsessively.

Any time a potentially dangerous object was held up to her or within her reach, she imagined those same brutal, gruesome scenarios of herself being broken apart and Peridot and Amethyst being shattered.

She tried to take her mind off of it, but nothing would help. All she could think about was the future. Garnet’s advice may have been wise and solid, but it hadn’t helped at all. If anything, her fears worsened.

On one day, she was almost about to split apart from fear, until Garnet approached her, saying, “Fluorite, how would you feel about going on a mission, all by yourself?”

Fluorite turned around quickly, sweating nervously. “W-what? A mission???”

“Yes,” Garnet answered. “A mission. I detect a monster located on Mask Island that could presumably make its way over here. Would you be willing to defeat it on your own, or would you need my help?”

Fluorite thought for a few seconds. This could either be a huge milestone for her, or it could be walking straight into death.

A few minutes passed, and Garnet spoke again. “Have you decided, yet?”

Fluorite turned back towards her. “Uh…I think I can take it on my own, Garnet.”

“Very well. Once you have successfully made it retreat to it’s gem, please bubble it and send it to the temple.”

“Yeah, uh, I can do that!”

Fluorite stood, staring awkwardly at Garnet for a few minutes before asking the question, “So, uh…do I have to go right now?”

Garnet figured the answer should have been obvious, but she still said, “Yes,” knowing somebody like Fluorite would definitely need the confirmation.

At Garnet’s response, Fluorite proceeded to say goodbye while running past the magenta fusion, jumping up onto the warp pad.

In the next few seconds, she was gone, and had warped over to Mask Island, prepared to meet this new foe.

In the distance, she could hear the garbled, terrifying screams of a gem monster. She could also see the palm trees at the end of the island tumbling down.

Fluorite hopped off the warp pad and dashed out to the far ends of the island.

Where the trees stopped, she saw the monster.

It was twice her size; deep navy blue with long, thick periwinkle spikes sticking out from the top of its head to it’s back. Its gem was on its chest, colored icy blue with a round facet. It had four legs that looked as if they were made of ice.

It turned around to look at her. Its face was pointed, sticking out like a muzzle of some sorts. It had cyan slits on its face for eyes and when it opened its mouth, had large fanged teeth.

It almost looked a porcupine, albeit horribly deformed.

It charged at her like a bull, shrieking, its spikes facing forward.

Fluorite summoned Amethyst’s whip, and lassoed it around a branch from the tree above her. She climbed up the whip, to the branch. Once she had got a hold of the branch, she clung to it fearfully.

The whip disappeared and the monster bolted back over to the scene, knocking the tree over at full force.

The tree fell, and Fluorite fell with it.

She landed face down on the top of a tough rock, with the tree then collapsing on top of her, crushing her.

Fluorite then split apart into Amethyst and Peridot, the two gems falling down in different direction on opposite sides of the tree.

Over on the right side, Peridot climbed over the bark of the tree on all fours, yelling, “AMETHYST! ARE YOU OKAY?! GET UP, WE HAVE TO FUSE TO STOP THAT THING!”

Amethyst slowly sat up, loosely grabbing the neck of her tank top, staring up at the green gem with a worried look in her eyes. Her voice sounded weak and dry. “Peri, I don’t think I can fuse right now.”

“Wha…WHY NOT?” Peridot shouted, throwing her arms up in the air.

Amethyst hesitantly pulled the neck of her tank top down to reveal 3 large cracks spread throughout her gem.

Peridot gasped loudly, putting both hands to her mouth. “AMETHYST! YOUR GEM…”

Amethyst coughed a little. “D-don’t worry, Peri…everything’s gonna be j-just fine.”

“NO, IT’S NOT! NOT WITH YOU IN THIS KIND OF CONDITION!” Peridot cried, tears filling up her eyes.

Peridot ran up to Amethyst, wiping away her own tears, and then used every single bit of strength she could muster to lift the purple gem off of the ground.

“WE HAVE TO GET YOU SOMEWHERE SAFE!” She shouted again.

“Right in my face, dude. You’re screaming right in my face,” Amethyst replied hoarsely, covering her ears.

Peridot sprinted across the island to the warp pad, carrying Amethyst like a bride as she did so. The tears in her eyes made it hard to see where she was going, but she found her way.

Once she had gotten to the warp pad, she gently placed Amethyst on the ground, and dropped down to her knees next to the purple gem.

“A-amethyst,” She stuttered. “I’m s-so sorry…”

“Don’t be, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Amethyst responded, smiling weakly. “Besides, the warp pad’s right there. You can just take me over to Rose’s fountain.”

“B-but, I don’t know where it is. Steven was the one who took you there earlier, not me.”

“I can help you.”

“But what if, by the time we get there, it’s too late? What if…w-what if you…”

Peridot buried her face in her hands and began to sob loudly.

At the sight of her partner crying, Amethyst frowned sympathetically.

She never liked to see Peridot like this, especially not in a situation like this.

Despite knowing that there was little chance left due the time they’d already wasted, Amethyst tried to console Peridot anyway.

“Oh, dude…come on…don’t…y-you don’t have to cry…it’s fine…I…I’m gonna be fine,” Amethyst said, her voice quivering slightly.

Peridot began to sob even harder after this.

Amethyst looked around. She had to find some way to make Peridot feel better.

“I mean…if I do uh…y’know…then uh…you’ll still have Steven…and Pearl…and uh, Garnet,” She continued, trying to reach out to Peridot. “Besides…you deserve better than me.”

Peridot grabbed Amethyst’s wrist with both hands and looked the purple gem directly in the eye.

Her face was covered in tears, her cheeks had turned a bright shade of blue, and her nose was running. Her expression…Amethyst had never seen her look so offended.

“AMETHYST, I LOVE YOU!” She wailed. “YOU’RE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD TO ME. YOU’RE SMART, FUNNY, BRAVE, AND MOST OF ALL, YOU’RE ONE OF THE KINDEST GEMS I’VE EVER KNOWN! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL IN EVERY SINGLE WAY POSSIBLE! I DON’T DESERVE BETTER THAN YOU, BECAUSE I ALREADY HAVE YOU! YOU’RE THE BEST GEM ON THIS PLANET!”

Amethyst stared at her, wide-eyed.

Peridot sighed and rested her forehead on Amethyst’s knuckle.

Amethyst could feel the green gem’s hands shaking intensely, and her grip tightening.

“If anything,” She whimpered. “…You deserve better than me.”

“But, dude…I’m so gross,” Amethyst replied. “I’ve done so many dumb things the past, and it’s just—“

“Amethyst, I tried to kill you multiple times.”

“So? I did too. We both tried to kill each other.”

Peridot let go of Amethyst’s wrist as the purple gem began to cough repeatedly.

Once she’d stopped, she looked to Peridot.

“Peridot,” She wheezed, clutching her chest. “Why don’t you just let me die?”

Peridot’s eyes widened. “Amethyst,” She responded. “I’d never let such a thing happen to you!”

“Dude…I’m not gonna make it. I don’t care that I’m not gonna make it. There’s nothing you can do to help me, anyways…so just leave me here. I deserve it.”

Peridot stared at Amethyst. She then looked out into the trees. In the distance, she could still hear the loud screeching of the gem monster as it tore apart the island.

That thing…it could find them at any moment.

New tears refilled her eyes, and Peridot hugged Amethyst as tightly as she could.

Amethyst could feel Peridot’s tears stained her tank top, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to be left behind.

Over in front of them, Amethyst spotted a rock that was out of her reach, but within Peridot’s reach.

“Hey, Peri?” Amethyst asked.

Peridot lifted her head slightly from Amethyst’s chest.

“Y-yes?” She sniveled, raising a hand to wipe away her tears.

“Can you grab that rock over there?”

She pointed at the rock in question so Peridot could notice.

Peridot hastily let go of Amethyst and crawled over to pick up the rock and then hand it to the purple gem.

Holding the rock, Amethyst looked over to Peridot.

“Hey, Peridot?”

“W-what is it, Amethyst?”

“…I love you.”

“I…uh…I-I love you, too.”

Amethyst stared down at her own gem and raised the rock up in the air. She then proceeded to violently slam it on her gem.

The moment the rock hit Amethyst’s gem, Peridot let out short scream and covered her mouth with both hands.

In the next few seconds, Amethyst’s form disappeared in a lavender cloud, leaving behind nothing but a pile of purple shards.

Peridot stared at the shards in blank, petrified horror, tears streaming down her face.

At the temple, Garnet, Pearl, and Steven saw the warp pad activate.

“That must be Fluorite,” Garnet said, smiling.

It wasn’t Fluorite. Instead, it was Peridot.

Peridot was staring off into space, her eyes wide with.

She stepped down the steps over to Garnet.

“Peridot?” Garnet asked.

Peridot held up Garnet’s hand and dropped Amethyst’s shards into her palm.

She then hugged the magenta fusion tightly, burying her face into her stomach.

Garnet stared at the shards, her shades hiding whatever expression she must have been conveying.

She then looked down at Peridot, who was now sobbing quietly. She began to pet the green gem’s head gently

“…Shhh, it’s okay. We’ll keep her in a safe place.”


	11. Without Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Crystal Gems deal with the recent loss of Amethyst.

Since Amethyst’s shattering, the monster on Mask Island had been defeated by Garnet and Pearl before it could reach Beach City, and it had been bubbled to prevent it from ever reforming.

After that…there wasn’t much else to do, except…remember.

As the cold rain of early October splashed onto the windows of the house, Steven sat inside on his bed, wrapped up in a blanket, drinking a box of durian juice. He was watching the newest episode of _Crying Breakfast Friends!_ , hoping that it could have a chance of making him feel better. Which, it didn’t. At least not in a huge way.

He looked over to his right and saw Garnet walking up the steps. She sat down next to him on the bed, and wrapped a consoling arm around him.

“It’s okay, Steven. I miss her, too,” She said.

“How did you know I was upset about Amethyst?” Steven asked, looking up at her.

“I had a feeling.”

Steven sighed, and leaned his head towards Garnet’s chest. “Maybe…we should’ve tagged along with Fluorite on that mission…then maybe Amethyst would still be here.”

Garnet hummed in agreement. “I did offer Fluorite my help, but she wanted to do it by herself. I regret letting her do so. I can only imagine how horrific all of that must’ve been for her.”

“Peridot was there,” Steven pointed out, looking up at Garnet again. “Maybe she knows.”

“I doubt Peridot would want to talk about it, Steven.”

Realization hit him, and Steven gasped, moving away from Garnet.

“Oh my gosh, imagine how Peridot must feel right now! She loved Amethyst, and had to watch her get shattered! Oh…Shouldn’t we go check on her and make sure she’s okay?!”

“Steven,” Garnet began. “After the events of the mission, I don’t think Peridot will ever be okay, no matter how much she will try to deny it. She might not even go back to being the same as she was before it.”

Steven stared at her with his mouth slightly open while she was talking. Garnet adjusted her glasses.

“The feeling of having someone love you for who you are, despite the fact that probably shouldn’t,” She continued. “It’s an amazing feeling. They’ll always love you and understand you, despite the rest of the world not doing so. They’ll always find you beautiful and inspiring, no matter what. To have a person like that die right in front of your eyes, and knowing you can’t do anything about it…”

Steven leaned over a little and looked at Garnet. A tear was streaming down one of her cheeks.

Garnet then noticed Steven, and turned her head away, wiping away the tear. She looked back at him, smiling.

“Why don’t you go check on Peridot, Steven? She probably needs some consoling.”

Steven spread his arms out and hugged Garnet tightly.

Garnet rested her hand on his head. “I’m fine, Steven.”

\--

In a flash of light, Steven appeared at the barn, wearing a yellow poncho and carrying an umbrella of similar color. He had his cheeseburger backpack on his back as well.

He stepped down from the warp pad and walked across the sides of the barn, until he saw Peridot, sitting on a rock, letting the rain fall down upon her, her legs tucked into her chest and her arms wrapped around her thighs.

“Hey, Peridot!” Steven called out.

She glanced at him, but didn’t respond.

He walked over to the rock where she sat, and said, “Do you mind if I sit next to you?”

Peridot shook her head no.

Steven sat down next to the green gem and smiled. “So, how are you doing?”

Peridot, noticing a sudden darkness, looked up. Steven was holding the umbrella over her head, as well as his own.

She looked back at him, and then looked away again, shrugging.

“Well,” Steven started. “I know you’re not feeling too good after what happened recently, but I still had to ask. I’m worried about you.”

At the words “what happened recently,” Peridot frowned sorrowfully and buried her face in her knees.

Steven noticed this, and said, “Ooh, I’m sorry for mentioning it.”

Peridot rose her head up finally said something to him after remaining silent for the entire conversation.

“It’s okay,” she said quietly.

Steven almost couldn’t hear what she said. Her voice sounded hoarse and quivery, as if she hadn’t spoken for a long time.

For a few minutes, there was silence between them, until Steven finally said, “I miss her too, Peridot.”

Peridot turned to stare straight at him, her eyes widened.

“I understand how you feel right now, you must be really sad that she’s not around anymore. I’m sad about it, too. So are Pearl and Garnet. If you ever want to talk about it, you can talk to one of us.”

Peridot looked away from him again, her eyes lidded.

Suddenly, Steven remembered. Peridot’s tape recorder. She had no place to vent her feelings about anything anymore, because Lapis had smashed it.

He remembered…he had brought a gift for her.

“Oh, Peridot!” Steven exclaimed, shuffling through his cheeseburger backpack.

He pulled out a green hardcover journal and handed it over to Peridot.

“It’s a journal,” He explained. “You write your thoughts down inside it! You can use it to talk about how your life is or how you’re feeling. Whenever you’re feeling sad about stuff, just write about it in the journal. Here, I’ll give you something to write with!”

Steven handed shuffled through his backpack once again. He found a purple pen, but he figured Peridot wouldn’t want to see anything purple for a looong while. So, instead, he chose a 2b pencil, and handed it over to her.

“Oh and I forgot this,” He said once again. “You can also use it to kind of talk with us! Like, if you don’t feel like saying actual words, you can just write them down and show them to us.”

“Ok now, Peridot, open up the journal and write something down in it! Try to start with ‘today, I feel,’ then write what emotion you’re feeling.”

Peridot did as instructed. She opened up the journal to the very first page and began moving the pencil around the paper; writing her thoughts. She seemed to be concentrating very hard, as she nearly had her face pressed against the paper.

Once she had finished, she sighed and lifted herself from the paper.

“Show me what you wrote, Peridot!” Steven said, smiling.

Peridot shifted the journal so the paper was facing down, and held it up to Steven.

Steven noticed her handwriting had gotten progressively shakier as he read the entry, and noticed that her hands were shaking as she held up the journal.

This was what the entry said.

_Today, I feel very upset._

_I miss Amethyst._

_I loved her so much._

_I wish she could come back._

_I wish I had been shattered instead of her._

_Peridot – Facet 5_

Steven could hear Peridot sniffing and whimpering from behind the journal. He frowned sympathetically.

Steven took the journal from her hands and looked at her face.

Her face was covered in tears and her nose was running. Her cheeks had turned a deep shade of blue.

Neither of hands being free, Steven still hugged Peridot as tightly as he could.

He could feel her arms wrap firmly around him, hugging him back.

“I miss her, Steven,” She whimpered.

“It’s okay, Peridot,” He replied. “I do, too.”


	12. She Was Extraordinary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Peridot go on a walk.

On one cold day at the barn, Peridot was inside, sitting against a wall, wistfully staring off into space.

She saw her journal and pencil lying over to her left and grabbed both of them.

Peridot flipped to the second page, and began to write.

As she wrote, she could hear the approaching footsteps of somebody else grow louder and louder until she heard a friendly, familiar voice speak to her.

“Hello, Peridot!” It greeted.

She looked up. It was Pearl. Although, Peridot could’ve easily guessed that it was her by the sound of her voice.

Peridot put down her journal and pencil, staring up at Pearl, waiting for her to speak again.

Pearl crouched down to the green gem’s level and asked, “Would you like to go on a walk with me?”

Peridot looked at her, confused.

Pearl, knowing what Peridot was thinking, continued. “I just thought maybe you’d like to spend some casual time with a friend, you know, to take your mind off some things! What do you say?”

Peridot nodded, smiling weakly, and put out a hand. Pearl grabbed the green gem’s hand and lifted her off the ground.

The two of them walked out of the barn and onto the pasture.

The wind blew rather roughly and coldly, but you would only be bothered by it if you were the type of person to sport long hair or bangs.

Pearl, noticing the cold wind and the gray, clouded sky, commented, “Hmm, it’s not the nicest day, is it?”

She averted her gaze to Peridot.

Peridot was looking down at the ground, her hands held behind her back.

“You’re rather quiet today, Peridot,” She remarked. “It seems like I’m the one who’s doing all the talking.”

There was silence between the two of them before Pearl noticed Peridot was eyeing the thing she was holding with curiosity.

Pearl held up and pointed at it, asking, “Oh, are you wondering what this is?”

Peridot nodded.

“This is just a bag of brownies,” Pearl responded. “They’re food. I made these with Steven today and planned on maybe giving them to a human as a gift.”

Suddenly, Peridot spoke, taking Pearl by surprise.

“Can I have some of them?” She asked shyly.

Pearl cocked an eyebrow in confusion. “You want to eat? But, you’ve always hated eating.”

“I know,” Peridot replied quietly. “But, um…after Amethyst, something has changed my mind about it…”

“Well,” Pearl said, handing the bag to Peridot. “Here. You can have some of them, but don’t eat all of them.”

Peridot untied the bag and pulled out a brownie. She began to nibble at it cautiously.

“Peridot,” Pearl began, looking away as she walked. “I understand how you feel about Amethyst. I…um…lost a lover once, too.”

Peridot looked up at Pearl in interest, still nibbling at the brownie.

“Her name was Rose Quartz,” Pearl smiled. “She was…extraordinary. She thought the same about me as well. She was the first gem to think of me as more than just a Pearl. She loved me for who I was, and treated me like I was a high-class gem, just like her.”

They’d stopped walking at this point. Peridot had finished the brownie and began nibbling on a second one.

Pearl continued. “She was smart, brave, selfless, and…absolutely beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful, her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her lips, her hair, her dress, everything. I loved her with all of my heart, or at least my metaphorical heart, and she loved me back. Until…she started dating Greg…and then they had a child.”

Peridot looked at Pearl while nibbling on her brownie, absolutely baffled.

“…I’ll explain that to you later,” Pearl sighed.

Peridot looked away and began to nibble on a third brownie.

The two of them began walking again. Pearl had no particular destination in mind, but nonetheless, they still went on.

By the time they had stopped once again, Peridot had already eaten 3 more brownies.

They stopped because Pearl wanted to point out some flowers that she’d thought looked beautiful. They were colored violet, black, and lavender.

“Look at these flowers, Peridot! Aren’t they gorgeous?” She asked her.

Pearl looked over at the green gem. Peridot’s grip on the bag had tightened, and her lip began to quiver.

Pearl looked at the flowers again and then realized why Peridot was having this reaction.

“Um, let’s go on, shall we?” Pearl suggested.

They continued walking.

It was silent for a while, and Peridot had finally stopped eating the brownies and handed the bag over to Pearl.

There had originally been around sixteen brownies inside the bag, but Pearl was rather displeased to find that there were only four left.

Realizing that this amount wasn’t enough for any humans to eat, Pearl agreed to walk back over to the barn, letting Peridot finish off the brownies.

Once they had reached the barn again, the bag was empty and Peridot began to speak.

“Pearl…those things you said about that gem…Rose Quartz.”

“Yes? What about her?”

“Amethyst was…the same way for me. She was…extraordinary. She was the first gem to love me in a…romantic way. She was the first gem I ever fused with. She was nice…and funny…and cool…and she was…beautiful. She had such an endearing laugh. Her eyes…I’d always get lost staring into them. Her hair was so soft; it felt absolutely amazing to touch. She taught me how to perform a kiss…and she was incredible at it. I loved her so much. She made me feel important…and complete.”

Peridot began tearing up, and her voice was shaking.

“But, then…o-on that mission…she cracked her gem…and she…sh-she used a rock…to shatter herself…I couldn’t do anything to stop her…a-and now I…I…”

Peridot cleared her throat and wiped away her tears.

“I…I miss her, Pearl. I-I really do…”

Peridot sniffed, and wiped away even more tears.

Pearl kneeled down, staring at Peridot worriedly.

She hugged the green gem, patting her on the shoulder tenderly. Peridot hugged her back and laid her face into Pearl’s shoulder.

“Shhh…it’s okay, Peridot,” She crooned, still patting Peridot on the shoulder. “It’s not your fault that she’s gone…”

Peridot began to cry even harder.

“…I miss her too, despite the fact that I didn’t love her the way you did.”

Pearl looked off into the distance, still hugging Peridot.

“I guess that…in a way…Amethyst was _your_ Rose Quartz.”


	13. Alone in the Barn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is left alone in the barn with her thoughts.

In the cold late October night, everything on land was illuminated by the bright full moon.

It was eerily silent, the only sounds being the chirping of crickets and the sound of wind moving the leaves on the trees ever so gently.

Since it was such a quiet, beautiful night, Lapis had decided to leave the barn and explore the Earth.

While Lapis was out in the world, observing the scenery it had to offer, Peridot had barricaded herself in the barn, simply for her desire to be left by herself in mourning silence.

As she sat against the barn door, gazing up the ceiling, Peridot thought about Amethyst again, no matter how much she didn’t want to.

Though the time she’d spent with Pearl in the previous week allowed her to vent some bottled-up feelings, it had not taken her mind off of anything.

Thinking of that day, she figured out what she needed to do. She had to vent some more.

Venting would make her feel at least a little better. After all, of all the burdens you have to carry in your life, un-discussed emotions are one of the heaviest.

Peridot had no one to talk to, though. She decided to go for the next best thing: her journal.

She pulled out her journal and began to write down everything that came to her mind about Amethyst, using the pencil Steven gave her. Within just minutes of frantic writing, all of her questions, assumptions, and guilt, were written down on the paper.

Once she’d realized she finished writing, Peridot closed the journal and placed her pencil down on the floor.

She started staring off into space. She realized…she didn’t feel different.

No, she didn’t feel sad.

She didn’t feel angry, either.

She just felt…empty.

Despite how much she hated the feeling of despair, she though it was better than feeling nothing at all.

Thinking she’d feel something, Peridot thought of an idea.

She remembered that after Amethyst’s shattering, she’d decided to bubble the shards and keep them with her.

…Would talking to the shards provide some sort of comfort?

After all, it was still Amethyst. She was just…not as whole as she’d used to be.  
Peridot scurried over to the pile of hay that she’d rested the bubble on, and slowly, carefully picked up the bubble.

She stared directly at Amethyst shards with a blank expression.

“Hello, Amethyst,” She mumbled.

…Peridot knew there would be no response, but she was still disappointed when all she was greeted with was silence.

She set the bubble down gently, and stood up.

Suddenly, Peridot felt a fiery rage building up inside of her.

Why didn’t she save Amethyst when she had the chance? Why did Peridot just sit there and cry like a baby, when Amethyst herself knew of a way she could be healed?

Why did she let Amethyst die? Peridot had sworn to herself that’d she’d protect her, and she failed to do so. What’s the point of making promises to yourself if you’re just going to break them?

And…why was Peridot alone? She didn’t have to be. She could be with the other Crystal Gems at the temple.

But, then again, after Amethyst’s shattering, Peridot had stopped calling herself a Crystal Gem. There was no point in using the title anymore, not after she’d let a fellow Crystal Gem die.

After second thought, she realized…didn’t she deserve loneliness? Wasn’t it her punishment for her incompetence? She though so, but she knew others would disagree with her, saying she deserved to feel happy. Did she really?

She never even got to know Amethyst to a full extent. They’d first only been friends for a couple of months, and then lovers for a year and a half. How can you say you love someone if you don’t truly know who they are?

Pearl was wrong; this was Peridot’s fault. She had every chance in the world to save Amethyst’s life, and then get to know her on a more personal level. But, she’d wasted it all on tears and impulsive thoughts. She was the one who wanted to stay fused permanently. It was a sudden idea that had come to head at the time, and she felt adventurous enough to try it out. She did have a thought that it could’ve been a potentially bad idea. But, she ignored it, and as of now, regretted doing so.

It was her idea of fusing and her pure incompetence that had led to Amethyst’s death. She was the one to blame, no matter how much others would disagree.

After those thoughts, Peridot decided that she should probably calm down. She didn’t even want to think about this, it had just washed over her all at once.

What could help her relax, though? …Maybe Camp Pining Hearts would help.

She brought out the DVD case, turning on the TV, and sliding one of disks into the DVD player. 

The episode she watched…it featured both Percy and Pierre. This only made her angrier, as it only reminded her of her time with Amethyst.

Turning off the TV, Peridot sprinted up to the barn door slid it open.

She ran outside, and looked down at herself. She was actually shaking with fury.

Peridot had to get rid of all this anger in some way. She had to destroy something.

She bolted up to the nearest tree and used all the strength inside of her to punch it.

…The tree was unaffected. 

She kicked it.

Not even a scratch or dent.

Plus, it was painful for her. In fact, it was very painful.

But, at least she wasn’t shaking anymore. At least…not with anger.

Holding her hand, Peridot realized any attempts she’d make to destroy would be in vain.

She shuffled back into the barn and sat down onto the floor, next to the hay bale where she’d placed the bubble of Amethyst’s shards.

Looking down at the hand she punched, she saw it was covered in splinters and scars.

Peridot sighed and laid the back of her head against the wall, closing her eyes.

There really was no point, wasn’t there? Throwing a tantrum wasn’t going to bring Amethyst back.

Nothing would, actually.

All Peridot could do was remember her. So she would so just that.

She opened her eyes and her gem began to glow. It projected a lime green hologram of…Amethyst.

Whatever words the hologram “spoke,” weren’t truly it’s own. It was just Peridot, practically speaking to herself.

The hologram of Amethyst turned around to face her, a worried expression on its face. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, Amethyst, I’m fine.”

“You don’t _look_ fine.”

“Trust me, it’s nothing.”

The hologram walked over to Peridot and sat down next to her, swinging a weightless arm around her shoulder.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Peridot.”

“Well, you see…I just…“

The Amethyst hologram puckered up its lips and gave Peridot a kiss on the cheek, just before it disappeared leaving behind a few stray pixels.

Peridot stared off into the space where the hologram had formerly sat, as tears began to fill up her eyes.

“I…just miss you, that is all.”


	14. Fusion Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot fuses with Garnet.
> 
> However, this causes some complications.

As November rolled around, everything became colder and colder.

The leaves on the trees changed their colors, only to fall to the ground, animals hid away to hibernate, and plants began to wilt.

The other gems still visited Lapis and Peridot; they just did it less frequently than usual.

Some times only Peridot would warp to the temple to visit them.

Nowadays, Peridot was pretty silent.

She rarely spoke to anyone, and if she did, it was either Garnet or Steven.

This new silence she’d developed was pretty worrisome to other Crystal Gems, but to Lapis, it was bliss.

On one night late into the month, the Crystal Gems were over at the barn again.

Peridot approached Garnet, who was sitting on a hay bale, reading a newspaper; one of her legs swooped over the other.

Peridot just blankly stared at her for a few long minutes, until Garnet lowered the newspaper and looked down at her.

“What is it, Peridot?” She asked.

“I’m ready,” Peridot replied.

“Ready for what?”

“For fusion.”

Garnet folded her newspaper and put it down next to her. “Are you sure, Peridot? I thought you wouldn’t want to fuse with anyone after what had happened with Fluorite.”

“Yes, I’m sure. Fuse with me.”

“Very well, then.”

Garnet stood up and walked past Peridot. Once she’d stopped, she stuck out her index finger, gesturing for Peridot to come closer.

Peridot then ran up to her, offering out a hand to begin their fusion.

They performed the same dance they had when they first attempted fusing, except this time; Peridot wore no paint cans on her feet. There was also no music. And lastly, it was a complete dance. Peridot knew she was ready to fuse.

As they danced, their gems began to glow, until they’d come to form a fusion bigger than the barn itself.

The fusion was rather curvaceous in stature. She had four arms, Ruby and Sapphire’s gems located on the top pair. Her face was rather square-shaped, with a pointed chin.

Her skin was a darker shade of burgundy, and her hair was a very dark green.

Her hair was styled in the shape of a pentagon.

The fusion had a pointed, upturned nose, as well as five eyes, all colored magenta.

She sported a translucent star-shaped visor, which was a light turquoise on one side, and rosy pink on the other.

On her four arms, she had short, puffy sleeves and wore bright magenta gloves.

Her outfit, it was a body suit, like Garnet’s. It was primarily green, with bright magenta and yellow in some places. On the top half of it, there was a design that appeared to be a mix of the designs on top halves of both Garnet and Peridot’s outfits. On the lower half, she had yellow star-shaped cutouts on her knees. The heels and toes of her feet were bright magenta.

Upon hearing the sound of a new fusion arrive, Steven, Pearl, and Lapis came into the scene.

Steven gasped, stars in his eyes.

“GIANT PENTAGON!” He cheered, throwing fists up into the air.

“Ha ha, hey there, little man!” The fusion laughed, lifting up Steven with one hand. “You’re Steven, right?”

“Yeah, I’m Steven!” He replied, pointing to himself. “Are you Peridot and Garnet’s fusion?!”

“I sure am! The name’s Zoisite. Forgive me if I act a little bit crazy, you see, I haven’t exactly been all that _put together_ lately!”

At that corny joke, both Zoisite and Steven burst into laughter. Pearl snickered a little. Lapis, however, just groaned in annoyance.

Once the laughter had faded, Steven asked, “So, Zoisite, what are you doing here?”

“Oh,” She began. “I’m not gonna be here for much longer, I just wanted to pop in and say hello to you three before I unfused!”

“Aww,” Steven complained. “You’re leaving already?”

Zoisite set Steven down on the ground. “I’m afraid so, Steven! If this were some kind of deadly situation, sure, I would stay. But, nothing’s wrong right now. You can expect to see me again in the future, though!”

Steven got stars in his eyes again. “Really?!”

“Of course!” Zoisite smiled, looking down at him.

Zoisite stretched for a few moments, before saying, “Well, now I have to go. I’ll see you gems later!”

In seconds, she began to split apart.

…However, she didn’t. She only came back together.

Zoisite stared off into space, puzzled as to why she was still standing.

She attempted to split up into Garnet and Peridot once again.

Once more…she was unsuccessful.

“What’s wrong, Zoisite?” Steven asked.

“Err, I don’t know! Suddenly, I can’t unfuse.”

Inside the fusion’s mind, there were three gems: Ruby, Sapphire, and Peridot.

Ruby was frantically pacing around, as Sapphire stood still, thinking.

While Ruby and Sapphire had had fusions that had refused the concept of splitting up, de-fusion itself had never been a problem in any of their fusions. What could have possibly been the problem with Zoisite? Did it by any chance have something to do with Peridot?

“What’s wrong? Why are we still here? HOW COME WE CAN’T DE-FUSE?” Ruby implored.

Sapphire looked over to her far left and saw Peridot, who appeared to be concentrating very hard on seemingly nothing. She noticed…Peridot’s gem was glowing.

“Peridot,” She stated.

Ruby turned around to Sapphire mid-pace, furious. “WHAT?!”

“It’s Peridot. She’s holding our fusion together,” Sapphire responded.

Ruby glared at Peridot, and then proceeded to stomp over to her, Sapphire following.

“PERIDOT!” Ruby called out.

Peridot gasped and looked up at Ruby and Sapphire.

Ruby was absolutely fuming; eyes wide with rage and her hands balled up into fists. Sapphire appeared calm, though it was hard to tell from her eye being covered up by her bangs.

At the sight of the two gems standing before her, Peridot gulped, sweating.

“WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Ruby shouted, moving closer to Peridot.

Peridot didn’t respond, but she did wince as Ruby yelled at her.

Her silence only made Ruby angrier, if it were possible.

“ _WHY WON’T YOU LET US DE-FUSE?!_ ” Ruby screamed, throwing her arms in the air. “ ** _TELL ME!_** ”

Peridot remained silent, her gem still glowing. The more Ruby shouted at her, the more horrified she felt. She hadn’t known she was doing something wrong. Nobody was telling her why what she was doing was wrong. She had no idea what she was supposed to do.

Sapphire, noticing Peridot’s fear, stepped over to Ruby, resting a hand on the red gem’s shoulder.

“Ruby, please,” She began. “Let _me_ talk to her instead.”

Peridot, now sitting on the ground, cowering in fear, directed her attention towards Sapphire, who was kneeling down in front of her. She whimpered a little, fearing the blue gem would begin to scream at her as well.

“Peridot,” Sapphire crooned. “I’m not here to shout at you. I just want to ask you a few questions.”

Again, there was no response from Peridot. However, she gave a look of acknowledgement, as if she were telling Sapphire, “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

Sapphire cleared her throat, and spoke again, maintaining her soft and comforting tone. “Why are you doing this?”

Once again, no response. But, this question seemed to be one that frightened Peridot. It was as if she was afraid to give out the answer.

After waiting a few short minutes for a response, Sapphire continued with a different, more precise question. “Peridot, does this have something to do with Amethyst?”

It was at that last word that the tears finally came to Peridot’s eyes. It was true. It was a foolish thing for her to do, and an even more foolish reason to do so. She’d been alone for so long. Far too long. She missed Amethyst. She missed being fused with Amethyst. She wanted to fuse with someone again. Not forever, but just long enough for her to feel comfortable.

But, now that she was thinking about it, did her feelings _really_ matter in this case?

After all, Garnet would _never_ forgive her for abusing fusion like this.

Ruby was some distance away, trying to keep all of her anger together, trying her damnedest not to march over there and murder Peridot on the spot. If her reaction were any indicator, Garnet wouldn’t be much different.

And Sapphire, she may have appeared calm, but for all Peridot knew, she could have been even angrier than Ruby.

Peridot had no reason to do this to them. She deserved every punishment in the world.

As Sapphire waited for a response, Peridot tried to hold back her tears, but it was hard to do so.

Eventually, she stopped trying to hold her emotions back, and she cried.

“So,” Sapphire responded, standing up. “I presume that is a ‘yes’.”

Ruby, hearing Peridot cry, stomped over to the scene once again.

She’d heard the entire conversation between the two of them, and she now knew Peridot’s motives for doing this.

At that second, Ruby started to curse at her.

She continued to do so until the moment when Peridot lost focus on the fusion, and everything suddenly became white. Zoisite was de-fusing.

However, it didn’t last long. They were back inside her mind once again, not even 10 seconds later, courtesy of Peridot.

Ruby began to lunge at Peridot, but was immediately held back and pulled away from the scene by Sapphire.

Sapphire turned the red gem to face her, and began to speak with a more stern tone than before. “Ruby, you have every right to be angry with Peridot. I am as well. However, violence is _not_ the solution to this problem. We have to consider how _she_ feels about this, and tell her _why_ what she’s doing is wrong.”

“Okay,” Ruby sighed.

The two gems turned towards Peridot, who was still sitting on the ground, with her gem glowing and tears streaming down her face.

She opened her eyes and watched them as they approached her.

Peridot knew what this meant. She knew what came ahead of her. So, she had to say something before it happened.

“Ruby, Sapphire,” She said, her voice quavering with emotion. “I’m sorry…I-I’m so sorry…I wanted to experience fusion again…I-I was so tired of being alone…I didn’t intend to anger the two of you, but…I did…and I’m so sorry.”

Hearing this response only angered Ruby further than before. “IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO BE ALONE, THEN YOU SHOULD OF JUST FUSED WITH SOMEONE ELSE INSTEAD OF TRAPPING US IN HERE!”

“Ruby, please,” Sapphire interrupted, resting a hand on her love’s shoulder. “Peridot, we understand, and we are sorry that you feel this way. However, you need to realize that this doesn’t change the fact that what you’re doing right now is wrong. Ruby and I cannot stay here with you forever.”

She kneeled down in front of Peridot and rested her tiny hands on the green gem’s shoulders. “I know that it’s difficult to get over the loss of a loved one, but you cannot deal with that loss by taking out your emotions on others. You have to learn to accept the loss on your own.”

Peridot looked away, wiping her own tears.

“Peridot,” Sapphire said. “Look at me.”

She looked back to the blue gem.

“Peridot,” Sapphire continued. “Fusion is a sacred thing. It is something to treat with respect. It is even more important to treat your partners with respect. But, Peridot…you are not treating us with respect by keeping us here. Please. Let us go.”

For the entirety of this exchange between Sapphire and Peridot, Ruby had been sitting behind, boiling in her own steam. She wasn’t listening to anything the two of them were saying anymore. All she could think about was how furious she was, which ended up in her piling anger on top of more anger, until she finally snapped.

At the exact moment when Sapphire had finished talking, Ruby shot up and stepped over.

“ _THAT’S **IT!**_ ” She screamed. “ ** _I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!_** ”

Ruby pushed Sapphire aside and lifted Peridot up by the collar of her uniform with her left hand, balling up her right hand into a fist. “ ** _PERIDOT, GET OUT!_** ”

Sapphire tried to pull her back, but by then, it was too late. Ruby had punched Peridot directly in the gem, causing the three of them to de-fuse.

Ruby, Sapphire and Peridot all fell down to the ground, landing in different places.

Ruby sat up and glared at Peridot, until she heard Sapphire’s voice from afar. “Ruby?”

“Sapphire!” Ruby gasped as she ran over to her love. “Are you okay?”

“I’m alright, Ruby,” Sapphire assured her, smiling.

Ruby giggled, proceeding to bury Sapphire in hugs and kisses, eventually leading them to fuse into Garnet.

Garnet came in laughing like a child in a playground, and once her own laughter had settled, she still had a big, goofy grin on her face.

Steven, while happy for Garnet, was also concerned about Peridot. He looked over to where she’d fallen and saw her limping away from the scene, holding one arm.

She then lost her balance and fell facedown on the ground.

“PERIDOT!” Steven called out, running over to her.

Pearl, Lapis, and Garnet followed him.

Steven kneeled down next to Peridot and held her arm. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH HER?!”

Garnet stepped forward and picked up Peridot, cradling her like a baby.

“Her gem has been damaged,” She responded. “We must take her to Rose’s fountain immediately.”

Steven stood up and ran in the direction of the warp pad, with the gems quickly following him.

Standing on top of the warp pad, the five of them proceeded to teleport to Rose’s fountain.


	15. The Fountain of Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gems take Peridot to Rose's fountain.

Within seconds, the Crystal Gems, and in addition, Lapis Lazuli, appeared at Rose Quartz’ fountain in a beam of light.

The fountain was just as new and alive as they’d left it years ago, when they’d had to heal Amethyst.

Pink roses were floating around the area, the walkway was clear, and the statue of Rose Quartz still had tears flowing down from its eyes.

Flower petals were flying around and sitting gently on the walkway.

There wasn’t a single spiked bramble in sight. 

Not even a weed, and weeds are normally everywhere.

It was an absolutely breathtaking scene to watch, but the scenery was not what the gems had come here for.

They had come to Rose’s fountain so they could heal Peridot’s gem as quickly as possible.

Garnet stepped off the warp pad, still cradling Peridot in her arms, and began walking over to the fountain.

Steven and Pearl followed her.

Lapis, however, chose to stay and sit down on the warp pad, waiting patiently.

As they walked, Peridot slowly opened her eyes and stared off into the distance.

…She couldn’t see anything. Nothing at all, in fact. All she saw was darkness.

That crack in her gem…it had rendered her blind. 

Although, she could still hear and feel, and perhaps she could still talk. She wasn’t too sure if she was still capable of talking, as she hadn’t tried yet.

She could hear footsteps, as well as Steven and Garnet’s voices, though she wasn’t necessarily listening to what they were saying. 

She could feel movement, and somebody holding her in their arms, though she didn’t know whom it was. It felt like Pearl, but then again, it could’ve been Garnet as well.

Perhaps…maybe it was Lapis? …No. If you’d want Lapis to even touch Peridot, you’d have to duck-tape the two of them together. 

Despite the fact that they lived together now, Lapis still hated Peridot with a flaming passion, and it showed. She’d only agreed to not hurt Peridot in any way because Steven had told her so.

Peridot knew all of this; it wasn’t news to her. And yet, she was still thinking about it. 

Eventually, Peridot stopped paying attention to everything around her for a while and just stared off into space, thinking about everything.

She thought about what she had just done to Garnet. She thought about how much it had seemingly damaged their friendship.

Once again, she thought about Amethyst. She thought about how Amethyst had died. 

If Amethyst were here right now…she would hate Peridot, wouldn’t she? After all, it was Peridot’s fault that Amethyst had been shattered in the first place. Peridot had every chance in the world to save her, but instead she had just sat down and cried like a baby. 

And after Amethyst’s death, she’d been reduced to a cold, lonely, pathetic excuse for a gem, who would do nothing but cry inside the barn all day, and be deranged enough to talk to the shattered remains of her love.

Amethyst wouldn’t love Peridot if she were here today. She would just laugh at what she’d become.

Peridot kept thinking about all of this until she heard Steven say her name.

“How’re you holding up, Peridot?” Steven asked.

“My vision has disappeared,” Peridot replied.

Her voice was quiet and weak. When she spoke…it sounded forced, as it was painful for her to do so. 

“Oh, um, don’t worry, Peridot!” Steven assured. “We’re gonna heal your gem in no time! And…uh, then you’ll be able to see again.” 

“…Why?” Peridot responded.

“Well, it’s because we care about you!”

“You shouldn’t. All I’ve done is cause you trouble. It’d be better if you just shattered me already.”

Two new voices came into the conversation, and in unison. These voices belonged to Garnet and Pearl. 

Pearl had said “Absolutely not!”

Garnet had simply just said the word “No.” 

“We won’t let you shatter into pieces, Peridot,” Garnet spoke. “It’s a cruel fate no gem should ever have to endure.”

“Garnet is right!” Pearl interjected. “We care about you, Peridot. You don’t deserve to be shattered.”

Peridot crossed her arms and muttered, “I disagree…but…ok.”

They continued moving over to the fountain.

It had taken her a while, but while they walked, Peridot had finally realized Garnet was the one who was carrying her. She looked up and whispered, “Garnet…I’m sorry." 

Garnet stopped and looked down at Peridot, waiting for her to add on.

“It was awful of me to abuse fusion the way I did…I had no reason at all to do it…and…I was only thinking of myself and what I wanted…and I…I’m sorry. I deserve any punishment you choose give me for this.” 

“Ok,” Garnet responded. “At least you can admit you were being selfish. It’s a start.”

Peridot smiled, or at least made a weak attempt to.

“However,” Garnet continued. “I’m not going to forgive you immediately. It’ll take a long time for you to earn back my trust.”

“Ok,” Peridot replied. “I…understand.”

“Peridot,” Garnet added. “I’d like to apologize as well.”

“For what? You…you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“I wanted to apologize for breaking your gem. Or at least, Ruby wanted to apologize.”

“It’s okay, Garnet…you don’t have to feel bad about it.” 

“Garneeet!” Pearl called from over the fountain. “We’ve reached the fountain! Are you coming?” 

Garnet continued moving forward to the fountain, still carrying Peridot.

Once they had reached the fountain, Garnet bent over and placed Peridot down into the pool of Rose’s tears, and they waited for Peridot to heal.

Minutes later, Peridot sat up in the pool and looked down at her hands. Her vision had come back. She then felt her gem with her left hand. It was hard and rough like it normally felt, but there were no cracks in it, at least none that she could feel.

Peridot looked up at Steven, Garnet and Pearl and blankly stared at the three of them for a moment, before saying, “I’m okay, now.” 

Peridot lifted herself out of the fountain and sauntered back to the warp pad, the other gems quickly following her. As they came back, they saw Lapis was still there. She’d stood up once she saw them approaching, ready to leave.

They all stood on the warp pad once again, and disappeared from the area in the same beam of light that brought them there.


	16. The Shards

Over the next few weeks, going in to December, Peridot resumed isolating herself inside the barn and ignoring everyone around her, only taking time to write journals or talk to Amethyst’s shards.

Nothing really changed…except…Peridot never visited the Crystal Gems anymore.

Sure, Steven did warp over to the barn on occasion, but when he brought up coming to visit the temple, it always seemed as if Peridot was afraid to go.

Whenever he mentioned the place, she’d immediately respond with “Please don’t make me go there,” or something similar. He’d always have to reassure her that he’d never make her go any place she didn’t want to.

It was odd behavior…odd for Peridot, at least. She’d never objected to going to the temple before, let alone show fear of the very concept.

Surely it had nothing to do with Steven himself, and Pearl had certainly never done anything to harm or frighten Peridot.

…It was Garnet, wasn’t it?

Peridot had always been just the slightest bit wary of Garnet, ever since the fusion had poofed her over two years ago. Her wariness still showed, even after the two of them became friends through their first attempt at fusion during the building of the drill.

However, after fusing with Garnet for the first, and possibly only time ever, she’d become straight up terrified of Garnet.

And if it hadn’t been bad enough that she’d become horrified of one of her closest friends, she was still trying to get over Amethyst’s death.

It really had only been two or three months since Amethyst’s shattering, but to Peridot, it felt like three centuries.

Time was going by so slowly, that she’d resorted to talking to Amethyst’s shattered remains as some kind of coping mechanism.

She knew Amethyst would never respond. She knew Amethyst couldn’t respond. But…she felt safer when talking to the shards.

On one cold night, Peridot was speaking to Amethyst’s bubbled shards.

“It’s rather funny,” she began, holding the bubble gently as she spoke. “You’re here with me, and yet…you aren’t. I’m only speaking to what little of you there is left, but I guess it’s…somewhat comforting.”

She paused, looking away from the bubble and up to the sky.

The sky was a clear, pitch black. The moon was full and bright, and shining over everything it could reach. All of the stars and planets twinkled in the sky, giving glamour to the night’s scenery.

Peridot sighed. “…I just wish…that you could be here with me. We could be Fluorite again, and we could watch the stars, or maybe eat some of that disgusting pizza that you love so much.”

She paused again.

“…I don’t think you’re actually gone, Amethyst. You have to be somewhere in there, don’t you? I mean…you can’t be gone, yet. We just have to fix you first. Then we…can be together again. I just have to find some way to put you back together…and heal you. Then…I won’t have to feel this way anymore.”

She paused once more.

“Amethyst…I love you.”

As she’d been talking, her hold on the bubble had progressively tightened, to the point where once she’d said, “I love you,” she’d popped the bubble.

The shards fell onto the wooden floor, and within seconds began to glow.

Rising up in the air, they began taking form.

For a moment, Peridot had hope. It was a blind, bargaining hope, where she’d been pleading that at this moment, Amethyst would return, good as new. She hoped that she’d finally be reunited with her love.

But it was just wishful thinking.

All of her hopes vanished into thin air once the forms of the shards began to glitch while taking form.

The shards took the forms of purple, disembodied limbs, Amethyst’s limbs, and began to move towards Peridot.

The arms crawled over to her, while the legs hopped along their side.

Peridot, her back and arms pressed against the barn wall, stood frozen, watching them in pure terror.

As they came closer though, she started laughing.

This wasn’t funny. Far from it, actually.

But, Peridot couldn’t stop laughing. She was laughing so hard that tears began to stream down her face, and sank down to the floor.

The limbs climbed onto her, the arms grabbing at her, and the legs jumping on and kicking her.

The way these limbs grabbed and kicked at her…it was as if they recognized her presence. It was like they knew who she was, and how she felt. It was like…they were trying to comfort her.

Could gem shards still think and recognize the feelings of others? Perhaps they could, but Peridot wouldn’t know or care about that.

And after all, this was Amethyst. Why wouldn’t she have recognized Peridot? In her life, she had loved her dearly, and even chose to stay fused with her for over a year.

However, Peridot still couldn’t stop laughing.

She knew that there was nothing funny about this. She knew that she was actually horrified, and what was happening at that very moment didn’t amuse her in the slightest.

But…she couldn’t control herself.

Down at the temple, Garnet adjusted her glasses, saying to Pearl and Steven, “Something is happening with Peridot down at the barn.”

“What’s wrong, Garnet?” Steven asked. “Is she okay?”

“I’m not sure, but we have to go check.”

They warped over the barn in a beam of light, weapons ready in case of an extreme emergency.

Walking up to the barn, they could hear the distant sound of Peridot’s laughter.

“Well, she sure is happy,” Pearl commented while they were walking. “Garnet, are you sure that this could be an emergency? It could very well be the opposite, since it’s been such a long time since Peridot’s been happy.”

“Pearl,” Garnet replied. “Not all laughter comes from happiness. I don’t know for sure what’s going on down there, but I feel as if it’s something serious.”

And as they came to the entrance, they realized it was indeed something serious.

On the floor, they saw Peridot lying down on her side, holding her head and crying from laughter, as Amethyst’s arms pulled and grabbed at her, and her legs kicked at and jumped on her.

“OH MY STARS!” Pearl cried out. “PERIDOT!”

“We have to help her!” Garnet ordered, making fists with her gauntlets. “Come on!”

The three of them ran over to Peridot, each one of them prying one or two of Amethyst’s limbs off of her, and then poofing them through use of weaponry or simply crushing them.

Once all the limbs had been disposed of Garnet gathered them in a magenta bubble and teleported them back to the Burning Room inside the temple.

She looked behind her. Pearl and Steven were looking over Peridot, making sure she was alright.

Peridot…she wasn’t laughing anymore. Instead, she was bawling her eyes out, covering her face with both hands.

Garnet walked over them and got down on one knee, reaching out to the green gem.

“Peridot-“

Before she could finish, Peridot got up and scampered away from her on all fours.

Peridot sat up sideways against the wall next to the entrance, her legs tucked into her chest while she tightly held on to her thighs. She was whimpering and breathing heavily.

Steven walked over to her and kneeled down next to her, laying a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey Peridot, do you want to come back to the temple with us so you can calm down a little? I promise, nothing bad will happen to you over there.”

Peridot gave no verbal response, and instead nodded “yes” while wiping her own tears.

The green gem hesitantly got up to her feet, still sobbing, and allowed Steven to grab her hand and walk her out of the barn. While they walked, Garnet and Pearl followed.

Soon after, they’d warped back to the temple, taking Peridot with them.


	17. Take a Break

“We can’t send Peridot back to the barn,” Garnet told Pearl and Steven, hours after they’d returned to the temple. “Not after tonight, and especially not after all that’s happened.”

“Well, we can’t let her live in the bathroom again,” Pearl replied. “She doesn’t want to go in there.”

“There must be some place that Peridot can live,” Steven said, looking around the room. “Oh! I know! She can live up in my room! I won’t mind it!”

“Sure, that could work,” Garnet responded. “But, would she want to? I was thinking maybe she could go on the couch, but that’s not enough room for her.”

“Oh, I’ve got it!” Pearl interjected. “She could live in Amethyst’s room!”

Garnet stared at Pearl for a few long moments before taking off her shades and putting a thumb and index finger to her head in exasperation. “… _Pearl._ ”

“What?”

“Do you _really_ think that Peridot would want to live in Amethyst’s room…after what happened tonight?”

“… _Oh_. Erm…no, she wouldn’t. You’re right. But, where else is there for her to go? Besides here, of course.”

“I don’t know, but we have to figure something out soon.”

Upstairs, inside Steven’s room, Peridot sat on the bed, facing the window.

She was leaning over slightly, staring down at the floor.

She had calmed down a little since the incident at the barn, but not entirely.

Wiping away her tears, she listened to what the other gems were saying downstairs. She knew they were talking about her. But, she didn’t care.

All Peridot could think about at the moment was what had just happened to her down at the barn.

In her short, yet eventful existence, she’d never broken down like she had just a few hours ago. She’d never had so many emotions just wash over her in such a short amount of time.

… _She felt ashamed of herself_. She felt ashamed for letting herself fall apart so easily. She was supposed to a smart and rational technician, not some blubbering, screaming fool.

She’d been trying so hard to keep a straight face around her friends, but she’d failed. It’s such a burden to be physically weak, but it’s an even bigger burden to be emotionally weak as well. She couldn’t hide from anyone anymore, but then again, she was never able to hide from anyone.

Peridot had shed so many tears in the past few months…it surprised her to find out she could make even more.

Truthfully, Peridot was just tired. All she wanted was for all of it to be over. She wanted to feel something other than sadness, anger, or self-hatred. She wanted to live in peace.

But…no. Apparently, she couldn’t.

Eventually, she’d just stopped listening to the other gems’ conversation, and became lost in her own thoughts.

It wasn’t until Steven came up stairs that she’d been brought back to the world.

“Hey Peridot,” he greeted, climbing onto the bed. “You feeling a little better?”

Peridot wiped some tears from her face and nodded.

“Do you wanna stay here on my bed?” he asked.

She nodded once more.

“Okay, well, I have to go to bed now. If you need anything, you can just wake me up.”

Sleep. Maybe sleeping could possibly make her feel better.

Peridot stepped onto the floor, lifted up the covers, and then sat back down on Steven’s bed, laying down and pulling the covers up to her chest.

She began to doze off, eventually falling into deep sleep, her dreams beginning to project onto the ceiling in a bright green light.

–

The two of them laid down on the soft grass, gazing up at the stars, holding hands, fingers intertwined.

Peridot turned her head to look at her, smiling. “I love you.”

The other gem smiled, still looking up at the stars. “Love you too, Peri.”

“I wish that we could lay here like this for all eternity,” Peridot continued.

“Yeah, me too, but we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because, dude. _I’m dead_.”

“N-no you aren’t, you’re talking to me right now.”

“Yeah, sure, but I’m still _dead_.”

“That’s not true, you can’t be.”

“Pshh.”

The other gem let go of Peridot’s hand and sat up, irritated.

“What’s wrong?” Peridot asked her. “Did I upset you?”

“Nah, I don’t think I could ever be mad at you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Even though you’re a _huge_ loser.”

“…What?”

“Yeah, you heard me,” She said, standing up.

“All you ever do anymore is cry over me, like you don’t have anything better to do. You just keep crying and crying. And what’s even worse is that you talk to what’s basically my corpse. Like, geez. I love you too, but come on. That’s creepy.”

She turned her head a little, just enough so that Peridot could see her mouth.

“It’s sad, but it’s also kinda funny. You care about me _so_ much.”

“Y-yes, I do…”

“ _Really?_ ”

Amethyst turned around to face Peridot, angry. “ _Then why’d you kill me?_ ”

“WHAT?!”

“While I was literally _dying_ , you did _nothing_. You just sat there and _cried_. I even told you to take me to Rose’s fountain, but _NO_ , apparently that was too much to ask of you.”

“AMETHYST, I WOULD NEVER JUST LET YOU DIE! WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS FROM?“

“You _know_ where.”

“NO, I DON’T-“

“Stop acting like you’re dumb. I _know_ you aren’t.”

“A-amethyst, please. I just-“

“Need to get a grip? Yeah, you _do_.”

“Please-“

“Peridot, I’m _dead_. I’m never gonna come back. The sooner you learn that, the better.”

Peridot stood up and walked over to her. “No, you aren’t dead…y-you can’t be…Amethyst, please-“

Peridot tried to give Amethyst a tight hug, but as she did so, the purple gem disappeared in a lavender cloud, leaving behind a bunch of purple shards.

–

Peridot sat up straight in bed, screaming, both hands put to her forehead.

Steven, hearing Peridot’s screams, immediately woke up. “Huh? Wait, Peridot! Peridot, what’s wrong?!”

As soon as she’d heard his voice, she stopped screaming, and instead began to breathe heavily, holding herself as she did so.

“Peridot, are you ok?!” Steven asked her, alarmed.

“I-I’m fine,” She mumbled. “I just…I had an…odd vision.”

She remained silent for a few minutes before saying, “Excuse me, I have to do something.”

Peridot slid of Steven’s bed and walked downstairs into the kitchen.

She opened up a drawer and began to shuffle through the objects inside it.

Steven came downstairs to her and asked, while yawning, “Peridot, what are you doing?”

Out of the drawer, Peridot pulled out a large kitchen knife and began to study it closely. “Hmm…yes, this will do.”

She closed the door, and walked away to the warp pad, carrying the knife with her.

Once she was on the pad, though, she stopped moving she heard the sound of Steven’s voice.

“Where are you going?”

Peridot turned to face him, a blank, apathetic expression on her face.

“Where are you going?” Steven repeated. “Tell me.”

Peridot continued to stare at him. He could see her hand twitching as she held the knife.

“Peridot, come on…you’re starting to scare me.”

She finally spoke.

“I’m going to destroy something.”

“W-what? What are you doing to destroy? And why?”

“You’ll see.”

“Are you going to destroy the warp pad? If you are, then I’m pretty sure you can’t do that with a knife.”

“No, it’s not the warp pad. It’s something else.”

“What is it, then?! Tell me!”

“I already told you, Steven… _you’ll see._ ”

She stepped back and disappeared within seconds in a beam of light.

“PERIDOT!” Steven yelled. “GET BACK HERE!”

He ran onto the warp pad and used it to teleport away, following Peridot.

He arrived on the warp pad on the far outside the barn, only to find that she wasn’t there.

He hopped off the warp pad and ran along the side of the barn to the entrance.

Once he got to the entrance, he saw Peridot, who was facing away from him, shaking, holding up the knife.

Her journal was on the floor next to her, and appeared to have been written in.

“PERIDOT!” Steven called out. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Peridot turned her head to look at him. Her eyes were wide and filled with tears.

Steven sprinted up to her, planning to take the knife from her hands, but before he could do so, she’d already jabbed it through her abdomen, and disappeared in a puff of green smoke.

He caught Peridot’s gem before it could hit the ground, and stared at it in horror, beginning to tear up.

In a few minutes, Garnet and Pearl had arrived at the entrance.

“STEVEN, WHAT HAPPENED?!” They shouted in unison.

“P-peridot…she…”

Pearl saw the knife on the floor and walked over to it, picking it up. “Oh my goodness…Peridot…”

Garnet noticed the journal and picked it up. “It looks like she wrote something down in here before she left.”

The other two of them gathered around Garnet to read the journal.

_Log date – 12 10 3_

_To The Crystal Gems._

_Today, I feel exhausted._

_So, I am, as humans would say, taking a break._

_I will be back shortly._

_Please do not worry about me._

_Peridot – Facet 5_


	18. Worlds Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven reads Peridot's journal.

They waited a few minutes. Peridot didn’t come back.

They went back home, placed her gem down on a blanket inside a basket, and waited for a few hours. She didn’t come back.

They waited a few days. She still didn’t come back.

They waited for a few weeks. Still no Peridot.

They waited for two months. She was still gone.

On one day, Steven laid down on his bed, staring over at the gem inside the basket in front him.

Pearl sat down next to him.

“Are you still waiting for Peridot?” She asked.

He nodded.

“She sure is taking her time. I’ve never seen any gem take this long to reform.”

“…Pearl, what if she never comes back?”

“Steven, even though Peridot’s taking a longer time than one normally would, I have no doubts that she’ll come back eventually.”

“But, she was really sad before she left. I mean, she said she wouldn’t be gone for a long time, but, what if she was lying?”

“Steven, Peridot would never lie to you. Trust me when I say she’ll come back someday.”

“Ok…”

After a few minutes of silence, Peridot’s gem began to glow.

The two of them gasped, and got off the bed.

The gem rose up into the air, and a silhouette grew from it.

It changed form for a couple of seconds before Peridot finally came from it, and landed on Steven’s bed, stretching.

Her outfit had changed.

She now wore a dark green leotard with a v-shaped neck, green leggings with yellow five-pointed star cutouts, and dark green boots with yellow toes.

She jumped off of the bed, onto the wooden floor.

Steven gasped. “Peridot! You found out where to put the star!”

“Aw,” Pearl said. “You look nice.”

Peridot drew her attention to the two of them, blushing.

“Oh,” She spoke. “I didn’t think anyone would be here at the moment…”

Steven spread out his arms and ran up to her, hugging her tightly.

“HUGS FOR PERI!” He cheered. “I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE FINALLY BACK!”

It took Peridot a few minutes to process what he’d just said. But then, she realized.

 _Peri_. At that moment, she didn’t bother with trying to hold back her tears.

She hugged him back and cried into his shoulder.

–

After a week of settling down and getting used to her new form, the day when Peridot had to move away from the barn had finally arrived.

They’d decided to let Peridot live inside the beach house with Steven, and had even planned for her to sleep on the lounge next to the lower windows, though she could sleep in Steven’s bed on occasion if she wanted to.

On the day of moving, Peridot sat in the barn, writing in her journal, while the Greg and the gems packed her belongings into the van.

While she wrote, Lapis approached her. “Peridot.”

She looked up at the blue gem, who was looking down at her, arms crossed, with an apathetic look on her face.

“Nyeh…yes, Lapis?”

“Are you really leaving now?”

“Yes, I am…why?”

Lapis looked away for a minute, and then back to Peridot. “…I’m not going to miss you.”

“Oh,” Peridot replied, slightly hurt. “Okay.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

Lapis spread out her water wings and flew out of the barn to sit on the mill.

Peridot continued to write.

“Peridot!” Steven called out. “Are you ready to go?”

“Almost!” She yelled back. “I have to finish this entry first!”

“Can you hurry up? We’ve got to get back to the temple! Also, I think I left my duffel bag in there!”

At those last few words, Peridot had finished the last sentence. She stood up and closed the journal, leaving it on the floor. “Come in and look for your bag, Steven! On your way out, please bring my journal with you!”

“Uh, Peridot, I don’t want to be mean, but can’t you bring it yourself? You have hands, too.”

“I do. I just don’t feel like using them.”

Steven searched around the barn until he ended up finding his bag behind a ladder.

He swung it over his shoulder, and walked up to the entrance of the barn, taking Peridot’s journal as he went.

“Thank you very much,” Peridot thanked him as he walked out of the barn.

“So,” Greg said to them. “Are you two ready to go? I’ve got your stuff inside the van, Peridot.

“Yeah, we’re ready,” Steven replied. “Come on Peridot.”

Once they had reached the van, Steven took the passenger’s seat next to Greg, while Peridot sat behind the two of them.

As the van moved, Steven looked down at Peridot’s journal, and then turned to look behind him at the green gem herself. “Hey, Peridot?”

“What?” She responded, annoyed.

“Do you…mind if I read this?”

“…Ugh, go ahead. I don’t care anymore. Just…don’t read it out loud.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

He turned away, and opened up the journal, beginning to read, skipping the very first page. While he read, he noticed some of the pages were stained with tears, smudging the ink. There were also some spelling errors every now and then.

_–_

_Log date – 10 8 3_

_Today, I feel mediocre._

_Steven has informed me that, apparently, I am supposed to put dates on these entrys._

_The purpose of this is so I can keep track of all the entrys._

_Well, there_

_I put a date on it_

_Are you happy now, Steven?_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 10 10 3_

_Today, I feel sad._

_I still miss Amethyst._

_Some times I wonder what could’ve happened if I had been shattered instead._

_Would Amethyst have missed me?_

_I am not sure_

_All I know is that I hate feeling sad_

_Why did I have to fall in love?_

_My existence would be much easier if I just didn’t care about anyone_

_But that’s impossible_

_I should remind myself that I can’t stop myself from caring_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 10 11 3_

_Today, I feel weird._

_I’m honestly not sure what I’m supposed to do with myself now that Amethyst is gone_

_I don’t really want to talk to the other gems, and I really do not want to talk to Lazuli_

_What am I supposed to do? Just sit and stare at a wall? I don’t want to!_

_Why did Amethyst have to die?_

_I had every chance in this world to save her and I did not_

_It must be my fault_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 10 11 3_

_Today, I feel upset._

_Pearl wanted to walk with me today._

_Her purpose for doing so was to “take my mind off some things”_

_She failed, but at least she tried._

_I still miss Amethyst_

_Today, Pearl told me that in a way, Amethyst was like my own Rose Quartz_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log Date – 10 15 3_

_Today, I feel confused._

_I was at the Crystal Gems’ base today_

_I watched this television program with Steven_

_It was called “Crying Breakfast Friends”_

_I do not understand this program_

_It is not scientifically possible for a piece of the bacon to shed tears_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log Date – 10 18 3_

_Today, I feel bad._

_After Amethyst’s shattering. I do not consider myself a part of the Crystal Gems anymore._

_I’m the reason that she’s gone in the first place._

_She was dying, and she had told me where I could go to heal her._

_But, I did not_

_I just sat there and cried_

_How can I say that I care about her if I just let her die? I can’t_

_If Amethyst saw who I was today, she would despise me_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log Date – 10 20 3_

_Today, I feel sorry for myself._

_I’m so desperate that I’ve resorted to talking to Amethyst’s shattered remains_

_Pray for me_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log Date – 10 25 3_

_Today, I feel_

_uh_

_nothing, I presume._

_Some times I wonder_

_Would Amythest still love me if she saw who I was today?_

_After all, it is my fault that she was shattered_

_Simply put, I am too incompotent_

_I can’t even protect the ones that I love_

_Let alone do my job properly_

_If only I’d never sujjested for the two of us to fuze_

_Maybe she would still be here_

_Maybe I wouldn’t have to feel like this any more_

_I failed to protect her_

_And my punishment for it is lonelyness_

_I deserve this_

_I deserve all of this_

_Amethyst, I know you cannot hear me, but I want you to know that I’m sorry_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 11 10 3_

_Today, I feel okay._

_It has been a while since I have written in here hasn’t it?_

_I have just been_

_Reflecting_

_On the past few months_

_I feel like I am getting better._

_I have also been thinking about what brought me here._

_I remember when I attempted to fuze with Garnet._

_I would like to try that again some time_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 11 14 3_

_Today, I feel good._

_I am going to fuze with Garnet._

_I hope that this fuzon is successful_

_If some thing bad happens,_

_I will never fuze with any gem ever again._

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 11 14 3_

_Today, I feel scared._

_That was a bad idea_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 11 15 3_

_Today, I feel scared._

_Steven please._

_Do not take me to the temple._

_Please I beg of you_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 11 15 3_

_Today, I feel scared._

_Garnet is at the templ_

_I do NOT want to go there_

_She will hurt me_

_I am sorry, Garnet._

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_LOG DATE 11 25 3_

_GARNET WILL DESTROY ME_

_I HAVE DISGRACED FUZON_

_I AM SO HORRIBLE_

_GARNET PLEASE FORGIVE ME_

_I AM SORRY_

_–_

_FORGIVE ME_

_–_

_Log date – 12 10 3_

_Today, I feel better._

_I think that I can put this past me._

_Garnet doesn’t seem to mad at me._

_We apologized to each other_

_Surely, things are okay._

_I just hope_

_That no more bad things happen to me_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_LOG DATE 12 10 3_

_NO NO NO NO NO NO NONO_

_I CAN’T DO THIS ANY MORE_

_–_

_Log date – 2 12 4_

_Today, I feel good._

_I have returned with a new physical form._

_I’m much better than I was before_

_I still miss Amethyst dearly_

_But, I think I can do okay without her._

_If I had a heart, she would always be in it._

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 2 13 4_

_Today, I feel great._

_Steven took me to the Fun Land._

_It was incredible_

_However, I was, apparently, to short to ride on the rolling coster_

_That pisses me off_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 2 14 4_

_Today, I feel angry._

_Pearl punished me for teaching Steven words that Amethyst taught me_

_What is wrong with saying the fuck word?_

_Let me say the fuck word_

_I demand that I be given the right of the free speech_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 2 15 4_

_Today, I feel good._

_The Crystal Gems have decided that I can live in the temple._

_I am not bothered by this any more_

_Garnet and I are, as Amethyst would have said, the bros_

_I am happy about this_

_Though Garnet is still kind of mad at me._

_However, this is a start._

_I am so happy that I could say the hell yeah word_

_It is another word that I learned from Amethyst_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 2 17 4_

_Today, I feel good._

_Steven’s “dad”, or as he prefers to be called, “Greg”, taught me how to play a guitar._

_According to him, I did very well._

_Finally, I have succeeded at some thing_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 2 18 4_

_Today, I feel good._

_I have to leave the barn tomorrow._

_I would be sad about this, but to be quite honest,_

_I am very reliefed._

_Because now I won’t have to live with Lazuli staring at me every day like she is plotting my demise_

_Good bye, Lazuli_

_I’m not going to miss your terrifying face_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

_Log date – 2 19 4_

_Today, I feel good._

_I’m so happy that I have been doing better._

_Amethyst might be gone, but I can live with that._

_I will always love her, and I will always remember her._

_But, I won’t spend every day crying over her._

_Some day, I won’t even have to cry over her._

_I consider myself to be a Crystal Gem again_

_Because_

_Worlds beyond this star, there is Homeworld._

_And Yellow Diamond is there, waiting for my ultimate destruction, and for her cluster to destroy the Earth._

_If I am only focused on Amethyst, myself and how I am feeling, then I won’t be able to stop the cluster, and then stop Yellow Diamond._

_I won’t be able to save this world and all the life forms in it._

_I am allowed to care about myself, but I have to care about every life form around me as well._

_Is that not what being a Crystal Gem is?_

_You must protect yourself and every one else_

_That is what I want to do._

_Not only because Amethyst would have wanted it, but because it is important to begin with_

_I am a Crystal Gem, and I am proud of it_

_Peridot – Facet 5_

_–_

Steven looked back to green gem behind him. She looked back.

He smiled at her, which caused her to look away, blushing with embarrassment.

Not long after, they had reached the temple, and helped Peridot bring her things inside the house, all though she didn’t truly need any help.

She stepped inside her new home, ready to start anew.

–

Yes, Peridot did get better.

It was a rather slow process, but it happened.

She’d occasionally go into Amethyst’s room, or even the Kindergarten, just to remember her. Just so she could let it all out.

Yes, Amethyst was dearly missed amongst everyone. But all the wounds would heal when the time was just right.

Not everything lasts forever. Eventually, the people you love will die, possibly even while you’re alive. But, they’re still in your memories, and in your heart. Why? Because you loved them.

It’s hard to cope with loss. You lash out. You cry. Sometimes you’ll even wish you’d have died instead. But, you can heal. Even if you think that you can’t. It will all get better some day.

Just make sure you remember…even when your loved ones are gone, they’re still here.

They’re simply just worlds beyond from your own.

And guess what? They will always love you, faults and all.


End file.
